Monday, December 31, 2007

The Rape of the Lock and other stories

I'm dashing off to the Middle East again; this time for a much-needed and anticipated vacation. Much has happened since I last blogged, including the theft of my sister's Christmas present, the rape of my locks, and the assassination of Benazir Bhutto (just to put things into perspective).

After many a long thought, I finally decided to buy my sister and new brother-in-law a yearlong membership to Costco. I figure that with a baby on the way, such a present could be well-used. Unfortunately, when the envelope finally arrived at my house via the trusty UPS man, it was empty! The ill-fated present was nowhere to be found and it took me weeks to get through to Costco to sort it all out.

As for the rape of my locks, Alexander Pope himself would have been sniggering in the background. I foolishly agreed to pay a visit to my mother's hair stylist in Houston -- I figured a women trained in China ought to know something about Asian hair. True though that may be, she sadly knew very little about listening to her client. I asked for the same cut, just two inches off. She lopped off FIVE inches and gave me a brand new style. It was like my own episode of What Not to Wear with Nick Arrojo - I couldn't see what she was doing and when it was finally over, my hair littered the ground and I was left with something about which I had not been consulted. I felt like a shorn sheep. (Which, by the way, is an actual sport in Australia. They compete to see who can shear the most sheep in a given amount of time. Amazing the things that are on late-night television).

The most interesting thing that I've learned through this harrowing hair happening is that people love misery. Everyone who hears the story immediately requests a picture. WHY?! I am grieving and they want to see pictures?! If I loved the cut, trust me, you'd see pictures all over my Facebook page. But I am in mourning. Pictures only serve to salt the painful wounds.

But in all seriousness, we humans do have a morbidly curious nature when it comes to devastation, tragedy and all manner of icky, do we not? I've been struck lately by the overflow of images from Pakistan regarding the ghastly Bhutto murder. The debates about whether she was shot or blown up first, whether that smudged image was a gun or not, etc., aren't in themselves inappropriate ... but I might take issue with the hungry way we (and the media) prowl the Internet and news networks for images, feeding this nasty habit of wanting to know every single little detail regardless of whether it illuminates what happened or helps a wounded nation heal. Can't say I know what direction this bit of rambling is heading in, but there's my thought for the day.

Farewell for now -- I'm off to Israel and Jordan, to walk the ancient lands of civilization, to see and experience (and blog) the places of the Bible firsthand. I shall keep you updated! Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Finally reached my limit

Never again.

Never again will I accept two internships, enroll in five classes, sit on the board of a student organization, and represent all graduate students on student government -- all in one semester. Never. Ever.

I've always been involved in multiple activities at once. But I've never been this overwhelmed all the time -- to the point where I feel like most of work I've done this semester has been mediocre. And I hate being mediocre. The worst part about being totally crazed is that I start to shut down and just procrastinate, spending an hour on Facebook, another hour blogging, another hour reading the newspaper. Suddenly, it's 1am, I haven't been at all productive, and my blog entry is full of italicized print because my brain is too fried to write creatively.

So I'm swearing of blogging until my last paper is written, my last test taken. I'm weaning myself off Facebook too. But that's a bit slower going.

See you again in a few weeks!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Dare To Know

I'm starting a new series that I'm calling Aude Sapere, which is Latin for "dare to know." I came across this phrase in a completely random manner and liked it so much that I filed it away in my head to bring back at the appropriate time.

And that time would be now.

Generally, whenever I read or hear about some significant happening that I want to share with you, I post it on the blog -- but I've discovered that it often gets lost among the silly little notes that I write about my life. So, in an effort to make the more meaningful entries stand out, I'm creating a new series and giving it a catchy name, like any good marketer and communications professional would do. This series is meant to reveal events, people, and trends that each of us should dare to know. I anticipate that most of the pieces will not be fluffy nor give you that warm-and-squishy-like-a-chocolate-molten-cake feeling. My goal is to be challenging, perhaps a bit controversial, and eye-opening. Don't worry, not everything will be a depressing story that breaks your heart -- there are many stories that can be difficult to digest, yet still encouraging and uplifting. I promise to try and strike a balance.

For the inaugural edition of Aude Sapere, I've chosen to feature a young boy named Joab. Born into the Kibera slums in Nairobi, Kenya, Joab faces the complexities and catch-22 choices that accompany his mother's death and a society that lets him down. I'll give away a bit of the ending, in the hopes that you will be encouraged to watch this very short film clip -- the telling of Joab's story lands on a positive note.

So, dare to know. Dare to know the lives of others who seem so distant yet whose very basic desires and needs match our own. Dare to know the flippancy with which we, as the elite few, treat our privilege and education. Dare to know the determination and the courage that can come from even the smallest boy living among the ruins.


Click here to play.






Link won't work? http://www.pbs.org/wnet/wideangle/shows/school2/vid/right2.html#

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Living single, living fabulous

Highlights and tips from the Asiatino/Mexinese wedding:
  1. Don't drink too many margaritas during the rehearsal dinner. It makes a 7am appointment with Peter for hair and makeup really really unpleasant.
  2. If you're supposed to bring Grandma to the church at 10am for an 11am wedding, don't go for a jog at 9:30am and show up at 10:50am. It makes the mother of the bride go INSANE.
  3. Make your guests figure out how to get themselves around town because juggling three cars and multiple airport pickups and dropoffs is not fun for anyone involved.
  4. Herding Asians and Mexicans for post-ceremony pictures is a Herculean task that most photographers are not cut out for
  5. Reassure the Caucasians that it's normal for brown people and yellow people to make a lot of jokes about their ethnicity.
  6. You can definitely write a quality maid of honor speech in the car ride to the church.
  7. Hire the Vietnamese Trio for your next Houston wedding -- one does the hair and makeup, another does the flowers, and the third does the cake. And it's all phenomenal.
All in all, despite some of the craziness, the weekend was so great! It was so much fun to see people I haven't seen in probably 10 years and, of course, I saw my little sister get married. I still hardly believe it. She looked so glowy and happy and her now-husband was just the sweetest thing ever during the whole Asian Family Insanity.

If there was one downside, it was that everyone seemed to want me to get married. The hair guy thought I was the bride. My own father accidentally referred to me as the matron of honor. The pastor asked the groom to take me as his wife during the rehearsal instead of my sister. Many, many, many people wanted to know when it was going to be my turn. I don't know if all this happened because it was my younger sister who got married, or if I'm getting old, or if it's some combination. I've never before been bombarded with this many inquiries about settling down -- and never before have I been fazed by it. I usually shrug off those comments, crack a joke, then forget about them. Me and marriage live in different zipcodes.

But I was fazed this time. Completely unsettled and left feeling like everyone was looking at my life and shaking their heads sadly. I began to wonder when or whether I'd find someone to marry me. I found myself really wanting the ring, the wedding, the settling down, the family thing. The situation worsened when we went to church on Sunday and, I kid you not, everyone I saw who looked my age was married or engaged! Feeling wretchedly demoralized, I followed everyone back to brunch -- only to have a woman I had just met tell me that I am intimidating to men. For a split second, I regretted nearly every aspect of my personality and the choices I've made -- having ambition, some degree of intelligence, education, opinions. If I had just toned it down a few notches, if I hadn't worked so hard at school or office, if I had subjugated my ambition to some man's, then maybe, just maybe, I'd be one of those girls with a gorgeous ring on her hand ...

Then I realized I was being stupid. And that Houston, where the average marrying age seems to be 21 and older women still talk about getting an "MRS" degree, is not good for my emotional health. I need to be around my fellow professional, urban, single women! And not in a man-hating, male-bashing kind of way -- in a living single and living fabulous kind of way. It's gotta be better than pretending to be a flight attendant to snag a husband, as Maureen Dowd wrote today.

So, crisis averted. I didn't run off with the first available male in a desperate attempt to marry into happiness and I harbor no bitterness toward anyone who suggested I settle down and get married.

Maybe someday ... but not today.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Finally

The craziness has subsided. Mostly.

My sister has a new last name and we now have the first Asiatino marriage in the family. There were plenty of Mexican and Asian jokes flying around today and I was thoroughly entertained to see the white folk look all confused and somewhat shocked.

Will write more about the details later -- last night, I had too many margaritas, which made getting up at 7am for hair and makeup royally difficult. And tonight, I'm tired right down to the very marrow of my body. Suffice it to say that the Asians came out in full form -- even bringing in a DVD of a 1987 apple picking trip with many of the families that my sister and I grew up with in Chicago. And we watched it on my parents' flat screen TV in surround sound. Need I really say more?

Friday, November 09, 2007

The Weekend of Insanity Begins!

I've made it to Houston, finally, for my sister's wedding. And I'm just now beginning to realize the full extent of the INSANITY that will ensue over the weekend. (Background note: The craziness is mostly caused by the fact that my sister only got engaged a month ago. My mother now considers herself an expert in planning weddings in three weeks.)

For the amount of time that I've spent on the phone with my parents and my sister, there is a remarkable amount of information that has NOT been communicated to me. Like how my sister made an appointment on Friday morning at the same time I had scheduled our mani/pedi date. And how my mom went ahead and scheduled a mani/pedi at a different place and didn't tell me.

I also arrived to find out that I'm sharing a room with my grandmother for a night. She snores. Why doesn't anyone realize that I need to be prepped for these kinds of situations?! Seriously, the last thing one wants after coming halfway around the world and working 20-hour days is to unexpectedly share a room with someone whose mere breathing shatters windows.

Sigh.

So, stay tuned to the Lady V Prophecy. I'm going to do my best to blog as things unfold during the weekend. The rehearsal dinner is tomorrow night; the wedding on Saturday; Asians everywhere.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I Know What I Need!

For years, I've been under the impression that I need a "wife." I totally need someone to keep my schedule straight, cook meals for me, tidy up the house so it's neat when I get home, fold and iron my laundry, and pick up my dry cleaning. I've literally been waking up in a haze these days, unsure of where exactly I'm supposed to go and how I'm supposed to dress. I think it's all a side effect of taking two internships along with five classes, traveling to the Middle East, midterms, and preparing for my little sister's wedding. Never mind trying to also juggle the emotional complexities of having a younger sister married off, worrying about what the heck I'm gonna do after grad school, and dealing with boy drama. These days, I just long for boredom. Seriously. I often wonder what it must be like to have a day with absolutely nothing to do, nothing to think about, no emails or phone calls to return, nothing.

But I've suddenly realized that I've been wrong all these years. I don't need a wife.

I need an understudy.

Yep, a perfect clone or maybe someone that loosely resembles the Lady V. Just think -- I could send her out on the first date from a match.com adventure. Especially if I'm having a bad hair day or just want to sleep instead. The Lady V understudy could have studied for my econ midterm and taken it in my place. But instead, I had to take a two hour exam having only crammed for an hour beforehand. Just think of all those times you've wished you could be in two places at once! An understudy totally solves all these problems. She could be in my Finance class while I rake in money for a nonprofit as a guest bartender. She could be home cooking dinner while I'm studying. I could even send her out as my representative to hang out with those people that I don't want to make time for, but know that I need to. Okay, that would be sorta mean, but it would be such a beautiful thing ...

Now, I just have to find another Asian in D.C. I should hold a casting call. Oh! Even better, I should post a Craigslist ad and pay by the hour ... hmmmm ...

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Now playing: Glen Hansard - Broken Hearted Hoover Fixer Sucker Guy
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Globalization is great

Today, I met a Palestinian presidential appointee who got his MBA from my current school and whose son is considering getting a communications degree from my undergraduate school.

I bought earrings designed by a Yemeni from an Irishwoman named Claire who owns a jewelry boutique in Jerusalem. I also quietly negotiated a great price with her for this fabulous Roman glass ring - never thought I'd own a piece of excavated history! She made me promise not to tell my travel companions about the bargain.

And I took a ride with a local taxi driver whose nephew is rated as one of the top DJs in Miami.

So sad to leave Israel already, but Nashville beckons!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Things You Learn When Traveling to Ramallah

1. Government employees get full security detail. It's way cooler than a taxi. But the backseat of the armored SUV is surprisingly cramped, even for a small Asian woman.

2. Israeli checkpoints are still kinda scary even when you're traveling among a security detail caravan and security men in your car with ear pieces, flak jackets and an M-16 tucked under a blanket in the front seat.

3. The Israeli-constructed wall made some concrete manufacturer really, really wealthy.

4. Israeli homes have white water tanks on their roofs and Palestinian homes have black water tanks.

5. Practically every office of Palestinian Authority officials has a framed portrait of Yasser Arafat and Mahmoud Abbas on the wall.

6. The traffic between Ramallah and Jerusalem during evening rush hour is hellish.

7. The espresso is potent. And that's an understatement.

8. I'm an idiot for forgetting my camera.

I still can't believe I'm really here. This has been the most amazing business trip EVER. Not only have I sat in on meetings with the Central Bank of Israel and top ministers of the Palestinian Authority, but meetings don't get started here until well after 10 a.m. How great is that?!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Shalom

Currently in Israel, traveling with the government. And let me tell you, your tax dollars are well at work! I'll be running about Israel and the West Bank for the next few days, sitting in on meetings with investors and banks, doing my best to look moderately important and informed. U.S. Government employees may not be paid much (I think the agency I'm interning with only received a 2.3% pay raise last year) but they sure do travel well. Once Dulles Airport opened up again after a brief shutdown following a security breach that left me standing in the security line for 30 minutes, the trip has been smooth sailing. Not only did we travel business class, but the U.S. embassy in Tel Aviv sent a driver out to meet us at the airport and we cut past everyone in the passport line. SO great! I also sat next to a very charming Israeli doctor whose ear size was astonishingly disproportionate to his hearing. We talked about U.S. foreign policy and he firmly believes that we need a woman in the White House to set things right. It was refreshing to hear after I endured a cab ride with a Pakistani driver who adamently argued that women have no business running countries. I pointed out that it's been men driving countries into the mess we see around the world today, but, big shocker, he didn't concede.

I return to Washington on Thursday, immediately change planes to Nashville for the Net Impact conference, get back to Washington on Sunday and drive to Virginia to help my sister move into her new place. Can't believe it, but she gets married next weekend -- which also means I'm back on a plane next Thursday, this time to Houston. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to keep up with five classes, two internships, and the Boy I'm Dating the Most (who is quickly moving toward the title of The Boy I'm Dating).

I think I'll hop into the jacuzzi for a bit before our dinner with the biggest bank in Israel. Somehow I ended up in a suite at the Hilton, overlooking the ocean. And a parking lot but I try not to look down.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

The Gang competes!

After 51 grueling hours of business analysis and case competition craziness, with just smattering of sleep, my team -- the one and only Team 10 -- emerged victorious! In the words of one of my teammates, I think our collective reaction was: "Holy hell!" We won our way out of the final 20-page paper and took home winnings of $900. I still can't believe it.

We had to fight with the security guards to let us stay in the school building after midnight. (And seriously? What school says to its tuition-paying students, "no, you absolutely cannot stay in this building willingly in order to do schoolwork.") Our sustenance for two days came from pizza, Thai food, Snickers bars, and gallons of Starbucks coffee. A random CVS shopping cart became our only source of entertainment. But those things were merely crumbs under the table compared to the overwhelming talent of the Gang of 100. If you know the Gang, then you know what a tough competition it truly was.

What an honor to compete with these amazingly people! I'm so proud of all of us -- I know there were some judges who were just blown away by the presentations the teams gave. Our little Gang is going to go off and do great things, I just know it.

Now, while I'm convinced that the balanced nature of our team, coupled with the mind-blowing intelligence and chemistry contributed to our success, I have to share the true secret .... Paul Potts.

Thanks to a Team 10 member, we discovered Paul Potts, a shy, unassuming, and rather awkward mobile phone salesman who wanted more than anything to sing opera. Somehow he made it to the auditions for the TV talent show, "Britain's Got Talent." Just watch.


Friday, October 05, 2007

Adventures in the Video Store

Last Thursday was date night -- dinner and a movie at my house. The boy I'm dating most (BIDM) came over around 9pm and we decided to grab some Thai food and support the local neighborhood video store rather than the Blockbuster. (I think he's an even bigger do-gooder than I am). So we ordered food and wandered down to the store -- quickly realizing that the selection was rather limited. I think the new releases section took up about two walls.

We finally settled on a movie and went to check out, chatting it up with the employees. I was doing my usual uber-social thing, joking around and playing up the fact that getting a membership card truly made me legit in the Eastern Market 'hood. As I was filling out the membership form, another customer came to check out ... and I noticed out the of corner of my eye that the DVD he was renting featured a very large and nearly naked woman. With a sinking feeling, I tried to get a better look at the cover without being too obvious ... and the elbow jab from BIDM confirmed what the sinking feeling was telling me.

I was in the process of becoming a member of the neighborhood porn store.

Sure enough, the employee proceeded to give me the lay of the land -- old videos $3.50, new releases $4.50, and the adult room in the back had the $5.50 videos.

Suddenly, everything made sense. The shady exterior, the limited selection in the front, the fact the employees could brag about being in business for 20+ years despite the arrival of Blockbuster, the older gentleman in a suit who came in right after us, plopped his briefcase on the counter, and with a nod to the employees, walked straight through the door in the back of the store.

And we were renting Children of Men.

But we had reached the point of no return. My contact information was entered into the database and I was the owner of a newly laminated membership card. I looked toward the back and realized that the back "wall" was only a makeshift structure that didn't reach the ceiling and clearly the back room went a whole lot further back.

After we paid, the employee put Children of Men into a blue bag that concealed its contents and we were on our merry albeit stunned way.

So, armed with Thai food and a blue bag that proudly proclaimed "Rent movies of all ratings," we sheepishly walked back home, laughing the entire way, and knowing full well that everyone else in the Eastern Market 'hood knew what was in the bright blue bag.

Do I know how to show a guy a good time or what?

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Now playing: Kanye West - I Wonder
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

You go, Jimmy!

Our 83-year-old former president got into a shouting match with Sudanese security officials yesterday. AWESOME. They wouldn't let him into a town where he was supposed to meet with people in a town in Darfur and when they refused to let him pass, he shot back with what amounts to "I'm gonna tell the President on you!" The President of Sudan, of course.

I heart Jimmy Carter.




Friday, September 28, 2007

Love in Bullet Points

While I seem to have stumbled upon a pretty fabulous guy to hang out with these days, I was reminded this week about how many swine I encountered before discovering one pearl (yeah, mixed metaphor, but whatever). Like the Metro worker who caught up with me on the escalator today and asked if I knew who Halle Barry is, because (and I quote) "she'd be real mad at you." I have no idea what that was supposed to mean but I'll chalk it up to the new pair of zebra print shoes that I was sporting. They're so hot, men can't think straight around them.

Then there was the man I'll call Stash, who cornered me at the bar on Monday. I had merely stopped in to see how much money we raised during my bartending adventure. J poured me a beer on the house (and a couple of follow-up shots) and Stash sauntered over for a chat. Since J was working, he couldn't come save me and I couldn't give out my fake bar name. Well, I was dumb enough to give him my generic email address. In my defense, this guy knows Derek Jeter because he was heading to Tampa to set up Jeter's home entertainment system, and he said he could score playoff tickets. (Hm. As I type this, I realize just exactly how entirely foolish I was to believe him ... but, hey, I haven't been to Yankee Stadium in ages!)

Anyway, Stash walked off with my generic email and sure enough, a few days later I had a note from him. I could just paraphrase it for you, but it's so much more entertaining in all of its over-the-top flattering, glaringly misspelled glory. Enjoy.

--------------------

Yes, you made quite an impact. It was certainly a pleasure meeting you at the bar Monday night. It was purely coincidence that we meet because I was suppose to finish my project Monday and leave that evening. in stead, we worked late and decided to finish Tuesday morning and grab a beer and a bite. I apologize for not presenting myself more appropriately. I needed a shave and I was sweating all day. I can assure you when we meet again you will notice a marked inmprovement.

Let's talk about you. You got it going on girl....let me explain. I was impresed in a few different areas.

- Intellect: You have a depth of intellect that captivates a listener
- Pay it forward: You have a very good sense of generosity in terms of giving back to society. We should all seek ways to improve civilization and one way is to support programs that help the overall general population. I am not a big fan of corporate America.
- Great Conversationist: You hold your own with interesting conversation and you promote good communication.
- YES... you are a Yankees fan. I am in Tampa as we I type. I will let you know how my week work out with the players. I will be able to invite you to his tournament in January as we progress our friendship.
World Traveler: I apprecite a world traveler because other regions open ones' mind while gaining understanding and respect for other cultures.

I can see taking a 10 hours flight with you and completely enjoying our conversation and having a wonderful time say, in Buenos Aires, Paris or anywhere.

I would like to take you to dinner and continue getting to know you as a person. I have a tentative meeting with a client in DC in the next 2 weeks. The actual date is flexible ( has to be a weekday) so let me know what works for you and you pick your favorite restaurant.

You seem to appreciate museums. That is why I have been to Paris over 10 times. I enjoy the museums, the sidewalk cafes, the vineyards in the region and the overall cosmopolitan atmosphere.

It is my hope that we can become good friends and I can take you one of your favored destinations. I love to travel and so do you. My future desires are: Hong Kong, Thailand, Buenos Aires, yes Dubai and maybe Bali or Shangli.

Keep in touch and tell me more about yourself or you can wait until we have dinner. I pride myself in being someone very open, generous, helpful and understanding. I believe in treating people right and maintaining friendships. All of my good friends will say nothing but positive things about me but I hoping you will find out on your own.
Good luck in scholl this week.

~Stash



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Now playing: John Coltrane - Moment's Notice
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I must be insane ...

Somehow, I convinced myself that it would be a good idea to apply for a second internship while already working 10 hours a week and taking 5 classes.

Somehow, against all odds, I managed to actually get the job offer, which happens to be with a remarkable organization that does overseas investments in emerging markets. I couldn't say no. It's so perfect for me! Except that I'm pretty sure I'm not smart enough to work there. And I don't know a lick about financing projects in emerging markets ... hopefully the 300-page book I just borrowed from the library will save the day. Or least teach me enough to fake it.

Somehow, I have to survive working Monday and Wednesday days until classes from 5:10-9:40pm, working all day Tuesday, and working Thursday until class from 3-6pm, while juggling Net Impact and student government responsibilities, finding time for at least a couple IPOs, doing homework, and maybe even squeezing in a date or two with a rather fabulous new guy who makes me smile. A lot. In a blushing, giddy, I'm-laughing-at-your-jokes-because-they're-actually-witty-not-because-
I-have-to kinda way.

It's too bad that sleep truly is all it's cracked up to be.

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Now playing: Iron & Wine - Sunset Soon Forgotten
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Camping is pretty great. Most of the time.

There is a right way and a wrong way to go camping. And I think I discovered a little of both over the weekend. Here's the recap:

The right way -- camping on the beach of an island with wild horses. Even though the horses look more like domesticated ponies. "Who's gonna riiiide your wild horses?" sang in my head all weekend long. I didn't dare sing out loud, for fear that my fellow campers would do something really mean to me in the dark of the night.

The wrong way -- borrowing an old, musty tent that's been sitting outside for about 20 years.

The right way -- Camping at a site near a Wal-Mart so you can buy a new tent for $26 on Day 2, after two campers have slept in the Ford Explorer because the musty tent wouldn't stand up.

The wrong way -- Driving to camp in a Ford Explorer with a weak battery that dies on the first night while trying (unsuccessfully) to set up the old musty tent in the middle of the night.

The right way -- Having camping neighbors with jumper cables that give your dead vehicle a boost the next morning.
The wrong way -- Not realizing that the car battery is worthless and having to ask your neighbor for a second jump 4 hours later.

The right way -- Going back to the Wal-Mart to buy a new car battery.

The wrong way -- Not bringing waterproof matches on an island with a lot of moisture in the air and realizing that sometimes Bic lighters don't actually solve all the world's problems.

The right way -- Starting a campfire with lighter fluid purchased at Wal-Mart.

The wrong way -- Placing pots on the picnic table where an unsuspecting camper can burn himself.

The right way -- Eating bacon, eggs and pancakes after icing the camper's burnt fingers.

So, all in all, we did more right things than wrong things on this trip! Especially considering that I haven't actually been camping in ages -- not counting the time I spent a weekend in a tent in someone's backyard woods on Cape Cod. (We had access to the most amazing outdoor shower, so we definitely weren't roughing it by any stretch of the imagination). I feel terrible saying this, but Wal-Mart saved us this past weekend. Ugh, I feel so dirty after typing those words.

But I might be hooked on this whole camping thing. I might not have truly been "in the wild" on this particular trip, but I'm already thinking big -- like maybe a week-long camping trip in the Grand Canyon over winter break....or conquering the Appalachian Tail, a la Bill Bryson. Hmm. I better find a really capable (and hot) Eagle Scout to accompany me.



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Now playing: Common - I Want You (Feat. Will.I.Am)
via FoxyTunes

Monday, September 24, 2007

News flash: Men are insecure

The good news is that women in their 20s are earning more than their male counterparts (mostly due to the fact that we're more educated). The bad news is that many men are too insecure to handle it. This poses problems for well-educated, well-salaried women in the dating scene, according to this NY Times article ... Make sure you read to the end - the last paragraph is great, thanks to a quote from a fabulous friend of mine in Boston.

It would be interesting to see a follow-up article, with a focus on the men's point of view. This piece is decidedly female-centric -- would a survey of men reveal the same insight? Would men actually tell the truth? I mean, come on, very few men would actually admit to being insecure about dating a women who makes more money or is more educated. But, in my own experience and in the experience of many of my female friends, that insecurity is everywhere, albeit to varying degrees ...



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Now playing: Frank Sinatra & Bono - I've Got You Under My Skin
via FoxyTunes

Friday, September 21, 2007

If Stephanie Plum was a bartender ...

... she would have looked like me at the Net Impact fundraiser on Wednesday night. Having recently dyed my hair a bright red, I was all decked out in hot bartender gear -- black halter top, sexy but not too scandalous, great jeans and fabulous don't-mess-with-me boots.

But within the first 20 minutes, I broke three beer glasses, exploded a bottle of Sam Adams on myself, and concocted a handful of vodka shots that tasted more like rubbing alcohol with a splash of cranberry. However, the two regular bartenders, J and J, were fabulous coaches and I had improved considerably by the end of the night, earning an A+ rating from them and numerous rounds of various colored shots.

Then again, the grade might have been boosted because, at the behest of J, I went around the bar at the end of the night with money stuffed in my pants and halter top, asking for donations. I raised $45 with that little stunt alone! It wasn't without hurdles, however. During my circuit, I tried to start up a conversation with two women in a booth ... only to find out they were DEAF. Feeling like a complete idiot, I could only remember two words from my one semester of sign language class -- 'thank you' and 'sorry.' Both of which came in handy, after a friend came to the rescue and wrote out an explanation of what the crazy Asian girl with money bursting forth from her bra was doing. They gave me $5 and sent me on my way.

The largest contributer to the money-in-my-pants fund was Detective Adams, a regular at the bar, who shoved $10 into my clothes and wanted to give me his business card. I politely declined. Yes, I do have a desire to date a D.C. cop ... but I'd prefer that he is under the age of 40.

The good news is that we had a great turnout -- thanks to the Gang of 100, the Newbies and even my nonprofit co-workers! Not sure how much we raised yet but I have high hopes. And whatever the final tally is, I have two more dollars to add, which I discovered in my bra after I got home.

What a perfect way to end the night.

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Now playing: Jars Of Clay - Good Monsters
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Pest Plagues Persist

Who knew that house flies were so ... fertile? On Sunday, my roommate and I were preparing lunch when she said "I'm kinda freaked out that there are six flies on the door." Sure enough, there were a bunch of them crawling on the kitchen door window. We stepped back, glanced around the kitchen and suddenly realized that our two kitchen windows and door were COVERED in little crawling houseflies. We promptly screamed, ran around the kitchen trying to decide what to do, finally grabbed a couple of flyswatters and went to town. Within 20 minutes, we had accomplished our housefly genocide and vacuumed up the remains for a dusty and unceremonious burial with not an ounce of remorse. I think perhaps part of my spirit died with those little creatures. On second thought ... no effin' way. Call me a heartless mass murderer but I'd do it again in a New York minute. Them things are DIRTY.

(With no other explanation, we determined that the Musca Domestica progenitors must have laid eggs near the carcass of the dead mouse recently removed from under the stove. And the batch of offspring came to life. So. Freakin'. Gross.)

Please, Lord, let this be the last of the plagues. I don't think I can take much more. I made the mistake of looking up house flies on Wikipedia and discovered that a female can lay up to 9,000 eggs. Please, God, nooooo ....

But let me now move from mass murderer to bar mistress. Yep, I'm putting my pouring skills to the test tomorrow night - in a sacrificial effort to support a wonderful nonprofit called Net Impact, I'm giving up a Wednesday evening to get my friends drunk. Unfortunately, I don't get to keep the tips, but 10% of all bar sales go to this nonprofit. How nice, no? I feel like I should read up on mixing drinks, but figure that as along as I add plenty o' alcohol, the Gang of 100 and our new kids on the block aren't gonna care if I know how to properly blend a Mai Tai.

Surely there will be all sorts of excellent stories after tomorrow night ... like who's trying to party in whose pants among the Newbies. And who's the fake drunk. And who's a bad tipper. And how the boy I've been dating the most and the boy I used to be dating the most might both attend. Hmmm ...

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Now playing: Tarkan - Kuzu Kuzu (Original Version)
via FoxyTunes

Friday, September 14, 2007

Futility: Playing the harp before a buffalo

Sometimes even the best ideas go terribly, terribly wrong in the right hands.

Take, for instance, an "innovation" meeting. We were told to come up with innovative ideas to transform the organization and then come together to share ideas. It sounds like such a great idea, doesn't it? I mean, what manager doesn't want an innovative group of employees?

Unfortunately, this particular group of employees might need to re-think its definition of innovation. For me, I think of Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Elvis, etc. Not so much, for this team of innovators in the innovation meeting. Oh no. No, the only idea snatched up was creating an innovation poster (!) ... complete with a team photo and a list of "innovations" that the team has concocted. Surely, you are thinking, The Lady V must be making this up. Because no one would really, truly give voice to such an idea.

But you'd be wrong. Wait, the story gets better -- the list of innovations includes the "Maria CD," a compilation of about 12 songs with the name Maria in it, which was given as a gift to a co-worker named (you guessed it) Maria. And it would include the organization calendar made with Shutterfly that features employees for each month (not naked. Which, although it might be an improvement, is certainly still not an innovation). And it might even include the Jeopardy game that featured answers like "The newest employee to start working here." The game took up 40 minutes of the 60 minute "strategic" all-hands meeting.

I swear, I must have seen this in a Dilbert cartoon before. Or maybe in my worst business nightmare. This, I think, was worse than the time at Big Red when I sat in a town hall meeting, awed by a short video montage of missile test firings (!) set to the Pat Benatar song "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." Hm. Okay, maybe that was worse. But not by much.

Of course, the question that follows is, why did no one speak up at this innovation meeting? We're not exactly a group of wallflowers. Yet, there was something about the futility of the entire meeting that just smothered any spark of creativity that flickered pathetically in the great shadow of the innovation poster. It's interesting how just a few people can completely change the ambiance of a meeting from open dialogue to silent protestation. Not that I'm immune to this fault ... on the contrary, I know very well that I can be heavy-handed, over-bearing, and over-passionate. Yeah, I kinda suck. And that would be exactly why business without people would be so much easier. People (and me most of all) are just so darn messy.



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Now playing: Nico Gomez - Aquarela
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, September 06, 2007

I can be so pathetic sometimes ... but don't tell anyone

There's something really wonderful about procrastination. Maybe it's the fact that my bedroom gets a thorough cleaning, my laundry gets washed, and my feet get a home spa pedicure when I'm procrastinating. Or maybe it's the workaholic "war stories" I can tell because I was up until 3am, writing a memo on NGO strategic management after networking with MBA students and posting a new blog entry. Eh, whatever it is, procrastination is a wonderful thing and it's because of procrastination that all of you are able to read something on The Lady V. Gosh, I haven't even had time to procrastinate since my last entry!

The new crop of MBA Kidz are alive and kicking. For now. Poor souls, they are so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed! I remember when I was like that ... before I felt like I had been run over by a truck and left in the middle of the road to be repeatedly crushed by passing vehicles before getting scraped up by a middle-aged, overweight man in blue overalls with a bad attitude.

Operation 2012 is also kinda feeling like a sputtering soul on its last legs. I've gone out a few times with a really great guy ... but we're running into a time management issue, it seems. This is what happens when two over-achievers get together, I guess. Oh, and there's been scant re-visiting from Ghosts of My Dating Past, so I feel like I'm officially moved on. But, Match.com is a bust. Seriously, I am the only Match user I know who hasn't gone on a single date! It's enough to make me curse Maya Angelou, whose disgustingly optimistic quote, "Have courage to trust love one more time. And always one more time" has been staring at -- no, taunting! -- me for months from one of those desk calendars that someone gives you when they can't think of anything else for a gift. Bah. I need to flip that calendar to a new quote. Too bad Angelou hasn't said much about the downfall of smarmy men and death to all romantic comedy films.

I need a vacation. Or at least a really great pick-me-up. Like a new pair of shoes! Except that I just spent a large chunk of change on books and school supplies. Bummer. I think I'll go and lose myself in a museum this weekend ... it'll be the third D.C. museum I've visited in a year!



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Now playing: Chopin - Nocturne No 2 In E Major
via FoxyTunes

Monday, August 27, 2007

The Creature in the Couch: Part II

We've spent the past few days avoiding the sofa, hoping that maybe if we ignored it for awhile, all signs of life inside it would go away. It usually works with smarmy men making unwanted advances, so why not with small house rodents?

We sort of got our wish last night.

With the clever use of our collective noses, my roommates and I confirmed the presence of a dead and decaying creature in our couch. blechhhhh. Again, we briefly freaked out and then bravely resolved to call an exterminator to go fishing for the dead in the squishy regions of the contaminated furniture. Come on, there was no way I was going to do that.

Thank the Good Lord Above for exterminators. The hero of the story came to the house this afternoon, somehow extricated what was left of the sofa beast AND found another expired intruder under the oven. I don't even know his name but he saved us from a fate worse than Alberto Gonzales' career.

Hopefully the story of rodents in my house is not one with three parts.

On a better note, I met the newest crop of business school students tonight! They were as eager to please as I was, just one year ago -- it was so great. I guess this officially makes me a big bad Second Year student. The Thursday night drinking fests known as IPOs start up next week. I'm not sure I'm properly prepared just yet ...


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Now playing: John Legend - Slow Dance
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Make them go away

Despite the fact that I just spent a wonderful weekend witnessing the wedding of two wonderful friends (is there a 'w' word for friend?), I must blog about the creature in my couch.

As faithful readers, you all know about the black box of doom that caused the demise of two small rodent houseguests. The black box of doom was succeeded by the exterminator, who I assume disposed of the very determined mouse who chewed through the wall to get to the birdseed on the counter. All seemed to be well in the house.

Until tonight.

I was up in my room, trying to get some work done, when my new third roommate climbed up the stairs and asked, rather shakily, if I could come downstairs because she thought something was in the sofa. Incredulous, I crept down the stairs and sure enough, there was a small lump in the back part of the couch. Hoping it to be benign, I poked it with the remote control and it MOVED. Are you kidding me!?! Why is something living in my sofa?!?! We promptly screamed like the girls we are and then launched into a five-minute debate on whether it was better to kill the creature while it was in the sofa or try to get it out of the sofa and trap/kill it.

Having never encountered this type of situation before, we didn't really come to a conclusion so we brainstormed who we could call for help. But at 10pm, our choices were rather limited. So I whacked the lump as hard as I could with the remote. We're not really sure if the creature is still in the sofa or if it burrowed its way elsewhere.

This situation is so not okay.

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Now playing: The Beatles - Here Comes The Sun
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Are Pity Dates Okay?

I went on a pity date. I just felt like I should at least have dinner with the kid, seeing as he had courage just to ask. But it was boring as sand in a desert. Which then made me wonder ... what's better for the guy? To be shot down from the very beginning or to be given a small shot, even if it's seen as a pity date from the girl's point of view? There was some disagreement at work -- the guys collectively groaned when I relayed the boring story of the date. The girls shrugged. Thoughts?

Here's what I do know -- pity dates shouldn't count towards Operation 2012.



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Now playing: Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, August 12, 2007

One year later ...

It's hard to believe, but this weekend, one year ago, I moved from Boston to Washington D.C. The past 365 days have been rather a blur. It's true, some of those days (and nights) were spent in a drunken blur, but I'd say most of them are a fairly lucid blur. But I thought that since my blog has picked up some new readers, it might be worthwhile to recap some of my favorite entries from the past year. A few themes jumped out at me as I combed through the writings -- 1) I have great friends. 2)My dating life sucks. 3)MBA students like alcohol.

Hm. Maybe I should work on writing about things of more noble character in this next year ...

Enjoy!

525,600 -- Back when I waxed philosophical about friends and how they make me better. Oh wait, I still do that...

There's beauty in the breakdown -- The novelty of a new town and new friends started to wear off. But I had friends back in Boston and elsewhere to put me back together.

Dating and Football -- My MBA girls, also known as The Four Seasons, decided to try our hand at speed dating. Heh.

Top 5 Reasons Why MBA Students Are Dorks -- I think this is when I became fully indoctrinated.

Rumor Has It -- The best night of debauchery for the Gang of 100 EVER.

A Whole Lotta Ugly -- The ugliest sofa you will ever see in your life.

The Big Bang -- Explains why you should never drink water from the Potomac.

Why My Mom is Better Than Your Mom -- it's true.

Girl Meets Guinness -- The only time in my life that I got mad at a pint of Guinness

A Nation Conceived in Liberty -- Thoughts on the zeitgeist.

Quantifying Online Dating -- I boldly go where no (sane) MBA student has gone before.

Why Comcast is the Spawn of the Devil -- Seriously. Comcast has been a plague on my life.

Possibly the Best Craigslist Ad Ever Written -- So great, I had to share it again.

Sake It To Me -- The best and funniest stereotype I've ever had thrown at me.

Operation 2012 -- My dating adventures continue with the launch of Operation 2012. It crashed and burned on the first day.

At least I made it through alive! I'm looking forward to what the next 365 days has in store...




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Now playing: Sufjan Stevens - The Tallest Man, The Broadest Shoulders: Part I: The Great Frontier/Part II: Come To Me Only With Playthings Now
via FoxyTunes

Friday, August 10, 2007

How about Pinocchio?

A baby giant anteater (hmm oxy moron?) was born at the National Zoo a few weeks ago. The zoo vets are evidently trying to give the new family some privacy, so they don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl. Therefore, they can't name it.

That's where we come in. The Zoo is holding a "Name the Anteater" contest and you can vote for your favorite male and female names -- choose from Aurora, Pilar and Isabel or Cyrano, Francisco and Ferdinand.

You can also watch the mama anteater and the Zoo's first-ever baby anteater online here. Be warned: The National Zoo website is strangely captivating. You might be stuck on it for awhile.

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Now playing: Toby Lightman - Don't Wake Me
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

eHarmony is the devil

So there's this guy at work. No, it's not what you're thinking. This guy is not at all my type. I think he's really nice at heart, but he's just a little lacking in the smooth department. I hate to say it, but he's a lurker. ew. Turns out that Lurker told another co-worker that he's "crushing big time" on me. Luckily, that very gracious and thoughtful co-worker dodged the question carefully and responded without giving a real response. Whatever he said must have been good enough for Lurker because he hasn't confronted me yet. Yet....

But back to the topic at hand -- eHarmony. First off, any online dating site that rejects people should be illegal. You know those Match.com ads that ask if you've been rejected by eHarmony? Well, it actually happens. It happened to my co-worker, Sugar (another Operation 2012 operative). Granted, she admits that she wasn't exactly emotional stable at the time she signed up, but still -- no one should receive an email after taking the 40 minute personality test, saying "there's a certain segment of the population we don't feel comfortable matching." That's just wrong.

That should have been my first red flag. But no, I went ahead and completed the eHarmony profiling. I should have seen the second red flag when this devil site matched me with a friend from Boston after only a few days. But no, I kept faith.

Less than a week after I posted my eHarmony profile, I got matched with a guy who lives in Virginia, works for a Christian humanitarian nonprofit and, guess what, shares the same real name as Lurker. WTF?! I fell out of my chair, immediately deleted my eHarmony account and ran down the hall to tell Sugar. I mean, really!? How is it possible that I got matched with two men that I know? The whole point of online dating is to expand the pool of available men! I'm online because I don't want to date any of the men I currently know!

So I'm down to two online dating sites -- Match and Chemistry. Which are pretty much the same thing. I finally took the plunge and bought a 3 month subscription to Match a couple days ago. So far, not so bad. I've had 307 views, 14 winks, and 20 emails. Of course, eight of the 20 emails were from the same guy. He was immediately deleted from my profile. sigh.

But my online dating concerns don't end there. Back in October, the Four Seasons ventured out for a night of speed dating. It was a fabulous story, but unfortunately, it ended in a rather awful date with SpeedDateBoy. Interestingly enough, however, I had posted my profile through the speed date site and received an email from a guy that sounded pretty cool. I replied but then never heard back, so I gave up.

Well, lo and behold, this same guy stumbled across my profile on Match, recognized me, and emailed me the cutest note -- something along the lines of having run into me in another online dating life and hoping that he hadn't said anything to scare me away. Stalker psycho or kindred spirit? We'll see ... I think I'll email him back.



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Now playing: Hanneke Cassel - Miss Drummond of Perth's Favorite Scotch Measure
via FoxyTunes

Monday, August 06, 2007

Lessons from the weekend

I've learned a lot this past weekend.

LESSON 1. Capital punishment is not a deterrent

We have a mouse named Yoric in the house. I had named the mouse Yoric, just so I could recite "Alas poor Yoric" when we killed him in the trap borrowed from a co-worker. The trap is pretty simple -- a black box that has two metal plates on the bottom. When the mouse steps on both plates, it closes the electricity loop and gets zapped. You just flip up the top, dump out the mouse and reset it. Brilliant! (Okay, kinda gross too but brilliant). We caught Yoric in less than 24 hours and I duly recited Hamlet. Unfortunately, it seems capital punishment is not a deterrent for sinful mice because less than 24 hours after that, we caught a second trespasser. I was actually in the living room, talking with The Two Broads, my out-of-town visitors, when we heard "bzzzzzzzt" ... it took a few moments for us to identify the source of the sound. ew.

And a day later, a third rogue rodent chewed through the wall to get to the birdseed on the counter. Chewed through the freakin' WALL. I hate mice. I now also hate birdseed. I'm gonna get the hantavirus, I can tell already.

LESSON 2. I hate D.C. in August

Eager to show off my new neighborhood to The Two Broads, I hustled them over to Eastern Market for brunch and shopping. Of course, we walked everywhere and by the time T was done chatting with the Ukranian and R was done ogling the duvet covers from India, I thought I was going melt. Seriously, the air is so heavy here. It might even be worse than Houston.

LESSON 3. Nothing beats friends and community.

America just doesn't have community like it used to. Instead, we have suburbia where families stay locked up in their houses or their cars, kids don't play outside, and there's no such thing as the cornerstore. But in a few lucky, rare areas, you can actually find community, where neighbors walk outside and greet each other, you run into friends at the local coffee shop and the bus drivers know your name. Add to that mix two old friends in town for the weekend and it's close to perfection.

Monday, July 30, 2007

I'm failing in my mission

July 30, 2007

10:04 p.m.

The outlook isn't good. Three online dating sites, six days, and not a single promising prospect. Four men over the age of 45 have "winked" at me. My matches have headlines like "Opportunities are seldom prefect!" and nicknames like "CuteStud2007."

It gets worse.

I've been living in D.C. for 11 months. There are approximately 279,134 men that also live in Washington D.C. Yet somehow, despite this sizeable population, eharmony matched me with SOMEONE I KNOW! He's a friend of mine from Boston, who went to my church and just moved to the D.C. area.

And then there was this jewel of a man, who ended his profile with "Yes, first of all I have conservative values. However, that doesn't mean I am a stick in the mud. But if you are "liberal" we are not a match - I don't believe that's the way of Christ, sorry."

I haven't read a single profile with personality, extraordinary wit or undeniable goodheartedness. But what an amazing coincidence -- all these men online are open-minded, want women who like to laugh, love to travel but not as much as they'd like, and hate to play games. Seriously, guys. Written profiles matter! It's like they think posting up shirtless photos and writing crap like "I really don't know how to describe myself, I am looking for friends first with a potential to be more, if it indeed happens" is tempting.

Operation 2012 is going to need reinforcements...

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Operation 2012

According to the Mayan calendar, the world is coming to an end in 2012.

A USA Today article (always a reliable source) explains, "part of the 2012 mystique stems from the stars. On the winter solstice in 2012, the sun will be aligned with the center of the Milky Way for the first time in about 26,000 years." The date will be Dec 21, 2012, just two days after my birthday.

Damn. If the world is coming to an end in five years, I better get a move on in the dating department. Thank goodness the world comes to a halt at the end of the year. Anyway, this week, with three other fabulous yet single women, we launched Operation 2012 -- a concerted and strategic effort to find four fabulous yet single men in this barren land called Washington D.C.

Unfortunately, Operation 2012 didn't get off to a strong start. We four ladies went up to Baltimore for a Marc Broussard/Toby Lightman concert and I quickly set eyes on a good-looking man and his friend. I had high hopes. But the first words out of this man's mouth came after Marc toasted Reggie Bush --Dude leaned over and deftly explained "Reggie Bush is a running back in the NFL." I wanted to punch him in the face. I haughtily explained that I'm sufficiently familiar with Reggie Bush, thank you very much, and by the way, my football team was in the Superbowl and assuming he was a Ravens fan, he could take that and shove it. Okay, I didn't really say the 'shove it' part. But I wanted to.

I let it go and hoped he would redeem himself. Sadly, that's where I went wrong. For the rest of the concert, Dude and his friend loudly jabbered about nothing in particular and made more obnoxious comments. It was during the encore that they really outdid themselves. Marc was playing a slowish song and Dude's friend stuck his head in our business and says "My friend and I have been dancing here next to each other the whole concert and we don't want anyone to think we're gay or anything. So do you mind if we dance with you?"

What the hell kind of pick-up line is that?? Not only is it entirely offensive, it's just downright lame. I've heard better lines from the kindergarteners I tutored last semester. Not in any mood to put up with bad lines and even more annoyed that good-looking Dude was worthless, I retorted "Ha. Don't worry, we know you're not gay. Be secure in your manhood." I figured that would be enough to shut down most men, given an intelligence above that of a plastic penguin. But no. Two songs later, and Dude's friend tries again to dance with my friend. I think she gave him a flat no.

So ended the first Operation 2012 project. We move on to the next phases. Phase One is to identify the fabulous non-single men we know and scour their Facebook pages for potentials. Phase Two is to test the online dating waters. Stay tuned.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Once

I keep forgetting to blog about this movie and I honestly feel really bad about it. Once is one of the most genuine, beautiful, moving and funny films that I've seen in awhile. It's a different take on the movie musical -- there's no random bursting into song. Rather, the two main characters are musicians, lost in their own ways, who find each other and find themselves in the music they create together. We learn about both characters through their songs, which are so perfectly snuggled into the plot that you don't even realize it's a musical. And, as an extra bonus, both lead roles are played by real life musicians -- Glen Hansard, lead singer of Irish band The Frames, and Marketa Irglova, new to the Czech music scene -- and add a healthy dose of charming realism to the movie.

I was so obsessed with the film that I bought the soundtrack as soon as I got home and have been listening to it nonstop ever since. Hansard and Irglova wrote most of the songs and lyrics featured in the film -- the melodies are haunting, the lyrics will capture your imagination, and the vocals are so raw and full.

Okay, enough gushing. You probably won't find it playing in any mainstream theaters, but find your neighborhood indy cinema, treat yourself and just go. You'll love it.

"Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now"

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Singularly speaking

Good news is that there is a list of the top 25 cities with the most single people.

Bad news is that 98-100% of the cities suck.

Extra bad news is that I don't live and don't ever plan to live in any of the 25 cities.

Top 25 Cities with the Most Single People

1. State College, PA
2. Durham, NC
3. Amherst, MA
4. Storrs, CT
5. Oxford, OH
6. Standford, CA
7. East Lansing, MI
8. Indiana, PA
9. Blacksburg, VA
10. Geneseo, NY
11. Boone, NC
12. West Lafayette, IN
13. West Chester, PA
14. Orono, ME
15. Morgantown, WV
16. Auburn, AL
17. Bloomington, IN
18. College Park, MD
19. Kent, OH
20. Hoboken, NJ
21. Hanover, NH
22. Chapel Hill, NC
23. Whitewater, WI
24. DeKalb, IL
25. College Station, TX

Monday, July 23, 2007

And so the 10-year saga ends ...

No more Harry Potter books. I finished the book Saturday night and was awestruck and thrilled and sad all at the same time. I can't believe it's over.

Criticize all you want, but these books are amazing. J.K. Rowling has created a world just as charming, rich and profound as Middle Earth or Narnia. I've invested 10 years of my life, immersing myself in the lives of these children and it's just so wonderful to see how it all came together in the end. sigh...

I did play the cruelest joke at work, though. A co-worker asked me to come upstairs and talk really loudly about a fake ending to the book because the two women who sit next to him haven't finished Book 7 yet. So, although I expressed remorse at the beginning, I did it. Screamed about how Harry, Hermione and Ron all die in the end and from over the cubicle wall came a shout, "Omigod, whoever is talking needs to stop RIGHT NOW!" At which point, we dissolved into laughter and admitted it was all a joke. The two women came flying around the corner, demanding that I show my face and how could I be that cruel?! We spent the next 20 minutes debriefing about the parts they've already read.

Ah Harry. He just brings people together, doesn't he?

Friday, July 20, 2007

Give me your tired, your poor

I saw two interesting articles on BBC and in The Post this morning. (It's been a slow week at work). The BBC wanted to know if believing in God is a requirement for the U.S. president. The article noted how only one Congressman, Pete Stark (CA) has ever publicly admitted he was an atheist. When asked about the presidential race, he responded, "Who can say more rosaries than the next person in a certain given amount of time, hardly seems to me, to be a qualification ... I'd like to hear much more specifics about how they plan to get us universal health care."

Can't say I disagree. And speaking of helping those who are in need, The Post today published an op-ed on John Edwards and the credit he is due for "making the poor visible." In it, E.J. Dionne Jr., references the three top Democratic candidates and their anti-poverty records. Now, for me and perhaps for these candidates, our concern for the poor comes from our faith and what we believe is a clear set of instructions to have compassion and reach out for those who need assistance. But, if an atheist feels the same way toward the poor, does it really matter? If that atheist or Buddhist or Muslim or Mormon can come up with solutions to alleviate suffering in this country, shouldn't they be given a shot at the presidency?

One of America's best character traits is its desire for a meritocracy. I know that reality doesn't always reflect it, but the idea is that the best person for a job should have that job, regardless of personal history, faith, ideology, background, whatever. I should hope our country is able to provide this answer to the BBC and the rest of world.

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

Thursday, July 19, 2007

*Hic*

Would you rather have the hiccups for five years or a vagus nerve stimulator implanted in your chest cavity?

From BBC:

An east Belfast man who has suffered from hiccups for five years is hoping a new surgical technique pioneered in the US will give him his life back.

David Willis, who suffers from an incurable condition known as intractable hiccups, hopes a £9,000 operation will end his misery. The operation involves implanting a vagus nerve stimulator into his upper chest cavity.

As a side note -- I can't believe doctors can't come up with a better name for this condition. "Intractable hiccups"? J.K. Rowling could have done a whole lot with that one. Speaking of which, my only plan for Saturday is to get my copy of Harry Potter Book 7 and find a sunny spot in a park somewhere and lose myself at Hogwarts. yessssssss.....

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Parlez vous frances?

So I went out to celebrate Bastille Day with my roommate tonight. It was our first night out and I figured it would help set some boundaries for our household. Turns out I'm much more of the party girl than she is. Go figure.

But it was still a successful night. I think. She attended a party at the French Embassy and met up with a Frenchman who invited her to a party up in the U Street area. She didn't want to go alone, so she invited me. I've been dying for an excuse to wear this super cute red and white strapless summer dress, so of course, I agreed to be her wingman. We got there a little early and stopped by Local 16, where I ended up in conversation with a hot Italian and an even hotter Samoan ... but then she gave me "the look" and we had to leave since she got stuck talking to the rather boring American man. Damn. That Samoan was downright delicious. I kinda just wanted to reach out and stroke his chest.

But off to the French party at Tabaq Bistro. Sadly, the cover was $5 more than the Frenchman had told my roommate and he was nowhere to be found to pay for us. So I covered and we eventually found him. He wasn't even that cute!!! And he was diggin' on some other French girl, so we decided to make our own party. I quickly made friends with the bartender, who told me I was simply too beautiful to pay for drinks, and fed me all sorts of alcoholic beverages at no charge all night. Cool ... if only more men felt this way about me. My roommate, on the other hand, found a couple of Puerto Ricans, who provided good conversation and entertainment for the rest of the night. Until the Brazilian woman wearing a thong, lots of silver fringe, and a blue-red-and-white feather headress mounted the bar and started to gyrate, at which point, my roommate asked me to close out her tab. Unfortunately, even my favorite bartender was taking cell phone pictures of the scantily clad, gyrating woman atop the bar. It took me a full 20 minutes to close the tab, and that was with puppy eyes and a kiss for the bartender. A girl's gotta really work it these days.

Finally arrived back home around 2:40am (early in my humble opinion) and my roommate immediately crashed into bed. Me? I kinda want a jumbo slice of pizza ....

Friday, July 13, 2007

Best engagement story ever

One of my favorite Gang of 100 members just got engaged! It was rather unconventional, fraught with obstacles, dower customs officials and clandestine meetings under the very nose of authority. You'll love this lengthy but worthwhile story -- told from the point of view of her now-fiancee: (Names changed to protect the innocent)

One Crazy engagement story:

That’s right, my beloved family and friends, LaPrez, the love of my life, has agreed to marry me. Now I’ve just got to tell you how it happened but be warned, this may take a while.

In June, LaPrez left for a class in Alejuela, Costa Rica (outside of San Jose) a school called INCAE. A few days before she left, I decided to propose to her during my visit in July. I also thought it might be nice to have a little ceremony on the beach, since we both wanted a small, informal wedding (to be followed with a giant party for family and friends in attendance!) So my friend Jim put me in touch with a friend planning a wedding in C.R., who in turn put me in touch with their wedding photographer/planner named Fernando. Fernando speaks (or at least types) great English, has a wonderful sense of humor, is extremely accommodating and attentive, and appears to live and breathe weddings and surfing. I told him that I couldn’t set anything in stone until after I proposed on 7/1 but, if LaPrez liked the idea, we might want the ceremony on or around 7/5. “No problem!” said Fernando.

A week ago LaPrez sent me our full itinerary that she had somehow managed to research and compile between her 8 hours/day of classes, 4 hours/day of homework, meeting and learning Spanish from her various fascinating classmates and getting violently ill just before her final. When I saw that we’d be staying at a beautiful hotel overlooking the most beautiful and dramatic volcano in Costa Rica, I knew that’s where I had to ask LaPrez to be my wife.

So finally Friday evening came and I arrived at BWI airport for my 6:30 p.m. flight. Storms in Atlanta (where my connection was) kept us from boarding until about 7:30 p.m. but I was assured that my connection was also delayed to 10:30 p.m. and that I would just barely make it. We were next in line for take-off when the plane pulled over and powered down - more delays in Atlanta. A half hour passes, and another, and another. We finally leave BWI at 9:30 p.m. and I am resigned to spend the night in Atlanta. Upon entering the ATL airport at 11:45 p.m., I glanced at the monitor and lo and behold I see “flight #xxx, San Jose, CR: Boarding Gate E1.” “Holy crap!” I think. “Where am I now?” Gate A25. About as far from E1 as would be humanly possible. I get a call from LaPrez: “Your plane is boarding right now - you can make it!!!!” She’s been monitoring the situation via Internet from her school in Alejuela.

I’m off like a rocket. I catch the train from terminal A to terminal E and book it to the gate where ... they haven’t even started boarding! The monitor was wrong - the mechanical delay is actually ongoing and they estimate a departure time of 12:30am. Awesome! The plane finally takes off at 2 a.m.

When I enter C.R. customs at 3:30am, Saturday morning, everything seems to proceed normally. But just as the agent is about to stamp my passport, he sees that it expires at the end of July. “No problemo. I’m leaving on the 8th. I have my itinerary,” I explain in my broken Spanish. Off he goes to talk to his supervisor who tells me in Spanish that, in C.R., they need 30 valid days on the passport and they send me to wait while they deliberate. At this point, I assume they will make me wait for a while, maybe fill out some paperwork, but they can’t deny me entry to the country with a valid passport. So my biggest worry is LaPrez waiting for me below.

In the waiting area, I start talking to a bunch of Nicaraguans also denied entry and the security guards about my options. Not knowing how to say “engagement,” I simply say that I am getting married and that my passport is really not expired. Finally, I convince one of the security guards to take my wallet picture of LaPrez, find her, and explain the situation. Ten minutes later, he returns and hands me his cell. It’s LaPrez on a payphone downstairs! I was elated to hear her voice. She paid the security guard to call the payphone and let me use his phone. That girl thinks on her feet with the best of them.

“So, I hear we’re getting married!” she says. “Goddamn it!” I think. “I should have told the guard not to mention that part!” “It’s okay,” she says. “I knew you were going to ask anyway. A girl just knows these things.”

A little defeated, but still filled with nervous excitement I say, “LaPrez, will you marry me?” “Let me think about it,” she says. Just kidding. Her immediate and beautiful and life-changing reply from the payphone in the San Jose, Costa Rica airport to the grimy 1989 Nokia cell phone belonging to the airport security guard who was my captor was simply, “Of course.” For a moment, all my problems just went away. We giggle for a bit and exchange sweet nothings but then it was back to the task at hand.

She tells me to get a three-day pass so I can go to the U.S. embassy on Monday and get things squared away. We agree to keep working from inside and out and I would call her back at 5:15 a.m. with an update. Unfortunately, I quickly discover there wasn’t anything I could do from the inside. But at about 5am, a security guard comes running over saying, “Come with me. You can talk to her for five minutes and then you go back to the U.S.” “Holy crap!” I think. “This is exciting but completely horrible!” So there I am waiting by the metal detector with two security guards, when out of the side entrance, comes my beautiful LaPrez – the first time I’d seen her in three torturous weeks. It was a clandestine, unapproved meeting that LaPrez had convinced them to allow by sneaking her in through a two-foot wide service corridor.

After a much needed embrace, I take out the ring passed down from my grandmother to my mother, finally look into LaPrez’s eyes, and ask her to marry me … again. And she says yes … again. We agree to get married in Costa Rica as soon as I can return. Too soon, we have to part – but then a Delta employee named Brian tells us he can get me in! It was about 5:30 a.m. and we agree that I would call her at the pay phone at 6:15am with an update. That was the last we saw of Brian.

At about 7:30 a.m., a different Delta employee comes by hurriedly and says, "You’re going home and the plane leaves in 20 minutes.” “But you don’t understand,” I implore. “Let me talk to Brian, he said he could work things out.” “Brian went home,” he says. I start to get angry. Eventually, I convinced him to give me one more shot with the immigration officers, so we run at full speed down the length of the airport to where the incident began. The middle-aged, overweight, dower customs official reads my report with annoyance as I try to explain for the 20th time that I will be out of the country two weeks before my passport expires and that I just want to get married in his beautiful county. At this point, my brain was pretty much functioning on a reptilian level, so I can’t be sure that anything I said made any sense. What I can be sure of is that with a single wave of his hand, he sent me back to gate and crushed my chances of seeing my new fiancĂ©e in the immediate future. At the gate, I plead further with the harried Delta official, rightly pointing out that this was all Delta’s fault for never informing me of this regulation and letting me board the flight at all, after inspecting my passport when I checked in. He half heartedly apologizes and tells me to get on the plane. “I refuse to get on that plane until I’m married!” I deliriously half-shout in the crowded airport. “Sir, I have two security guards here that are going to put you on that plane,” he retorts. Defeated and semi-conscious, I convince him to at least let me call LaPrez to tell her I would be leaving.

But I couldn’t work the card-activated phone. So at about 8 a.m., my dream of spending the next week touring the west coast of Costa Rica and marrying my sweetheart on the beach was pronounced dead as I boarded a plane to Atlanta, GA.

In retrospect, I realize that the curious looks I got on the plane were probably not because people could see the anguish in my soul but more likely, were due to the scenes of sprinting at full tilt through the tiny airport with security guards to talk to immigration, only to be followed ten minutes later by a determinedly petulant tantrum at the gate, followed by threats of force. Of course at the time, whether due to sleep deprivation or love sickness, I wasn’t even aware that there were other people in that airport. The return trip is a bit of a blurr. I had two screwdrivers on the first leg and was in and out of consciousness. All I could think about was that I had failed. But every now and then, a feeling of bliss would sweep over me ... “She said yes.”

By the time my Dad picked me up at Reagan National Airport, I was depressed but resolute. The plan now, thanks to LaPrez's quick thinking, is to get my passport (hopefully by Thursday) and get married next week in C.R. Assuming Fernando is cool with a slight postponement, then the only issue is whether “next day” passport service is truly next day. I will be calling PassportandVisas.com tomorrow morning to find that out. I’ve also emailed my congresswoman to enlist her help if possible. If anyone has any advise in this arena I am all ears. But I'm getting married!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Chalets and champagne

Don't know about you, but I'm a Firefox browser user. I love it. I love the little add-ons and gadgets. Like my weather gadget. It appears in the bottom part of my browser window and gives me the current temperature and the two-day forecast. Usually, there's a cute little icon -- you know, a shining sun, a rain cloud, a snowflake, etc.

Except I live in DC. And it's July in D.C. For the past two days, the icon has been a melting thermometer. And really, that's what it feels like. Every time I walk outside, whether it's 7am or 11pm, I'm convinced my flipflops are going to dissolve in the heat and I'm going to melt right into the sidewalk. It's so nasty humid here, I can't even put it into words.

Pleeeeease rescue me. I just need some fabulously wealthy and handsome man to steal me away to a chalet in the Swiss Alps, feed me chocolate and champagne for the next two and half months, and pamper me with full body massages until I feel like I'm going to melt into the pillowtop king sized bed draped in buttery smooth Egyptian cotton sheets. If you know of anyone who might fit the bill, drop me a line. Now that I'm thinking about it, handsome is optional. I'll settle for wealth. Desperate times ...

Monday, July 09, 2007

Sake it to me

The funniest thing happened on the way to Eastern Market the other day. I was standing by myself at 9pm up in Northeast, at the corner of H and 14th St. (The Atlas District is kind of a sketchy part of town -- definitely up and coming but definitely not there yet). Anyway, I was waiting for the bus to take me home, looking all alert and aware of my surroundings, when a cute little black girl walked up to the stop. She looked about 13, wearing two afro puffs and a shirt that had to be from Forever 21 or Wet Seal or someplace like that. I smiled at her, she smiled back.

A few beats later, I noticed that she was looking at me in a very curious manner. When we made eye contact again, she asked, very earnestly, "Do you do nails?"

I nearly died in laughter. Right there, on the street corner. I mean, Atlas District is a predominantly black neighborhood and I realized at that moment that Asians are probably in short supply there ... and quite possibly, the only Asians this little girl ever saw in her neighborhood were the ones in the nail salons. I was so torn as to how to respond. Gotta admit, I was really tempted to say something like, "Oh no, honey, those are Vietnamese. I'm Chinese; we own the laundromats and dry cleaners." But then I realized that the dry humor would probably be lost on her. (To her credit, I was looking super Asian that day -- traditional Chinese-style shirt, jade bracelet, etc).

Instead, I just smiled and said, "No, but I love to get my nails done. Do you?" She grinned, responded in the affirmative and we both boarded the bus, while she continued to look at me like I was a new specimen of human.

During the bus ride, I started thinking about the juxtaposition of that encounter versus an encounter I recently had with a (white) friend's father. He and I were chatting about all sorts of things and in the course of conversation, he asked me if I saw myself as "ethnic." Again, I nearly died, this time from horror. I knew that he asked that question from a place of sheer ignorance, not disdain or malice, but I still had to take a few deep breaths before answering. First of all, that's just plain offensive. Second, using the word "ethnic" in that context makes so little sense anyway. I explained that if he meant to ask if I see myself as Asian, then absolutely yes -- like most people of color, my race is among the first adjectives I use to describe myself.

How is it that one person could look at me and see nothing but my race ... and another simply ignored it or didn't see it? And which situation is preferable? Being Asian shapes so much of my attitudes and outlooks towards life. But it's certainly not the only thing. And I wouldn't even say it's the most influential thing either. Most days, I just carry on about my business; my Asianness hangs around in the background, always there, but not necessarily at the forefront of my life. Is it so hard for other people to have the same attitude?

Can't I have my fried rice and eat it too?

Monday, June 25, 2007

That's what I call a productive weekend

Friday night: Shopping at the new Vintage store down the street, drinking wine on an outdoor patio with a friend, making friends with the Canadians at the next table, and getting invited to next week's party at the Canadian embassy.

Saturday: Helping the Fortress move into his new apartment, rolling my eyes at the way boys throw things into boxes and want to bring leaking beanbags in the truck (I put the kabash on that), drinking beer and eating nachos at a Gang of 100 birthday bash, sneaking liquor into a Nationals game, drinking too much of the liquor at the Nationals game, commuting 10 minutes home so I could catch up with a good friend on the phone before crashing into bed half-dressed and fully drunk.

Sunday: using my fabulous Black and Decker Firestorm drill to hang up pictures, lanterns, pot racks, spice racks, and letter holders, balancing precariously on the step ladder atop two kitchen chairs in order to hang up the living room curtains, finally unpacking all the kitchen boxes, drinking wine with my roommate whose been out of town all weekend.

If only I had remembered to put in my eBay bid for the to-die-for Steve Madden zebra print peephole heels, my weekend would have been heaven on earth ....