Adventures in the Video Store

Last Thursday was date night -- dinner and a movie at my house. The boy I'm dating most (BIDM) came over around 9pm and we decided to grab some Thai food and support the local neighborhood video store rather than the Blockbuster. (I think he's an even bigger do-gooder than I am). So we ordered food and wandered down to the store -- quickly realizing that the selection was rather limited. I think the new releases section took up about two walls.

We finally settled on a movie and went to check out, chatting it up with the employees. I was doing my usual uber-social thing, joking around and playing up the fact that getting a membership card truly made me legit in the Eastern Market 'hood. As I was filling out the membership form, another customer came to check out ... and I noticed out the of corner of my eye that the DVD he was renting featured a very large and nearly naked woman. With a sinking feeling, I tried to get a better look at the cover without being too obvious ... and the elbow jab from BIDM confirmed what the sinking feeling was telling me.

I was in the process of becoming a member of the neighborhood porn store.

Sure enough, the employee proceeded to give me the lay of the land -- old videos $3.50, new releases $4.50, and the adult room in the back had the $5.50 videos.

Suddenly, everything made sense. The shady exterior, the limited selection in the front, the fact the employees could brag about being in business for 20+ years despite the arrival of Blockbuster, the older gentleman in a suit who came in right after us, plopped his briefcase on the counter, and with a nod to the employees, walked straight through the door in the back of the store.

And we were renting Children of Men.

But we had reached the point of no return. My contact information was entered into the database and I was the owner of a newly laminated membership card. I looked toward the back and realized that the back "wall" was only a makeshift structure that didn't reach the ceiling and clearly the back room went a whole lot further back.

After we paid, the employee put Children of Men into a blue bag that concealed its contents and we were on our merry albeit stunned way.

So, armed with Thai food and a blue bag that proudly proclaimed "Rent movies of all ratings," we sheepishly walked back home, laughing the entire way, and knowing full well that everyone else in the Eastern Market 'hood knew what was in the bright blue bag.

Do I know how to show a guy a good time or what?

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