How racist are you?

I finally went to the eye doctor the other day, after a three year lapse. (Yeah, yeah, my mom has already yelled at me, don't worry). Not knowing where to start for eye doctors, nor knowing the market price for an eye doctor appointment, I just went with the nearest Lenscrafters. While I was waiting to be called in, I started browsing the office's brochure and found a picture of the primary doctor whose name I couldn't pronounce - he was a regular white guy with a pleasant looking demeanor. Nice. But when my name was finally called, it was a pleasant-looking Asian doctor who ushered me in.

I shook his hand ... and found myself feeling relieved that the doctor examining my eyes was Asian.

When I realized what I was feeling, I was shocked. I mean, sure, I'm Asian but rarely (to my knowledge) have I felt more at ease with other Asians than other ethnic/race groups. I just generally don't feel anything, although I'm usually acutely aware of the racial makeup of my surroundings.

So when Dr. Han left the room to examine my glasses, I sat there, blind as a bat without contacts or glasses, and pondered my feelings. I was fairly sure that if the white doctor had called me, I wouldn't have felt anything out of the ordinary. So, why this feeling of relief with the Asian doctor? Was it because I buy into the stereotype that Asians are smarter? Was it because I really am more comfortable dealing with people of my own racial background? Or was it simply because my favorite eye doctor of all time is also Asian?

Maybe the answer is a combination of all of the above. In an effort to explore this issue in my life even further, I found a Harvard online test that uses word and picture association to determine how discriminatory you tend to be, running the gamut from racial to gender to political preferences. It's a rather interesting exercise. Turns out, that I have little to no preference between black and white Americans, but do exhibit a slight bias towards seeing Asians as American and whites as foreign. Who knew? Granted, the test has its imperfections and I would hardly use it as scientific proof of my subconscience tendencies but it was intriguing nevertheless.

Then again, maybe it just all comes down to family life. When I told my mother that my new eye doctor is Dr. Han, her first question was: "Is he Korean or Chinese? Because, you know, 'Han' can go either way."

(Cartoon credit: The talented Tak Toyoshima, creator of Secret Asian Man)



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Now playing: Chris Walla - Sing Again
via FoxyTunes

A good cry

I finally had a chance to catch up on the season finale of Grey's Anatomy, snuggled in my room with a box of tissues. That show is so freakin' satisfying sometimes.

The (relative) calm before the storm

Next week, I start my summer internship (or summer associate, as they like to say in MBA schools). This week, however, is my time to catch up on life.

Except that I've been so overwhelmed with stuff to do! I had all these grand plans to call up friends I haven't spoken to in months, scrapbook my trip to Israel and Jordan, meet people for lunch, read a few good books, visit DC touristy sites before the summer crowds descend ... and yet I've been caught up in the mundane, time-sucking details of life: making doctor's appointments, updating my address book, re-allocating 401K funds, etc. How is it that, no matter how much I think about enjoying the best things of life, the stupid things of life always seem to triumph?

We all know that life is made up of more noble stuff than grocery shopping and reading blogs. And yet, we fall into the same rat race trap, over and over and over. In this case, I feel, the thought isn't actually what counts.

So! I have a few more days of freedom to rectify the situation. I'm off to tour the Library of Congress and get a Library of Congress library card (who knew there were such things?!). Then it's time for happy hour drinks with friends, and, afterwards, a few phone calls to West Coast friends. Maybe if I get back early enough tonight, I might check a few more mundane items off the to do list ... but if not, shoot. I have the rest of my life to get to those.

He's here!

I normally try to keep my friends and family anonymous on my blog, but I really truly could not resist sharing this one photo of my new nephew. He's just so stinking beautiful!

Despite the 36-hour labor, my sister looks fabulous, which isn't surprising seeing as she had the most fabulous pregnancy (no morning sickness, regular weight gain, no swollen feet). Which, sadly for me, probably means that I've inherited all the bad pregnancy traits and will probably gain 60 pounds, be sick all the time, and grow troll feet. Figures.

It's amazing what you find yourself capable of doing when there's a newborn baby around. My sister and brother-in-law are surviving on just a few snatches of sleep (the kid has to eat every 2-3 hours). And I even cleaned their house, did their grocery shopping, and cooked up a few meals to get them through the first week. I don't even do that for myself.

It's also amazing the things you learn about having a newborn. First of all, the hospital hooks up a LoJack system to the baby. Seriously. He has a little key fob type thing snapped on and sets off an alarm if he's taken out of the maternity ward! The potential for such a system is endless. I'm thinking of a few women who might want to invest in such an item for the men in their lives....

Anyway! I also learned that there are multiple "holds" when you're trying to nurse the baby. There's the football hold, the cradle hold, the cross cradle hold, the lying down hold. Who knew? The brother-in-law and I had to spend more than a few minutes trying to decipher the instructions and pictures.

And I've also learned how easy it is to get sucked into constantly talking about a babies. I don't ever want to be that mother who has nothing to talk about but her kids ... and yet, I feel like I'm always talking about babies lately and I don't even have one of my own! Just today, I had lunch with a friend who is a mother of two and probably 60% of the conversation was about her newborn and my sister's newborn, how frequently they eat, how long they sleep, what model stroller she uses, which children's store is having a clearance sale. Dear God. I can only hope that this part of the new baby in the family will fade away soon.

But for now, I'm basking in the joy of being an aunt, having a kid to brag about without the fuss of actually taking care of him, and not having classes to worry about over the summer!

I almost have a nephew

My sister is finally in labor! Sort of.

Lemme tell you, as excited as I am to meet my new nephew, I am even MORE excited that it's not me giving birth. Her contractions started at 4am Saturday. For the next 17 hours, she just had contractions about 10 minutes apart. At 9pm, she finally left the house to see the doctor, who told her that she still wasn't ready. So, she and her husband picked up cheeseburgers to eat at home. It's now 12:40am and I still don't have a nephew.

This kid better be real fun in real life to make up for his supremely boring entrance into the world ... This is SO not like it happens in the movies. There was no dramatic water breaking in the middle of my graduation, no rush to the hospital, no anxious pacing in the waiting room. And my poor sister probably can't even sleep because she's awakened every 10 minutes or so by intense cramping.

The moral of the story for me?

Adoption.

The Gang Graduates!

It's the night before graduation and I'm going through the photos of our self-organized "Senior Week" -- complete with Cohort Olympics, buckets of alcohol, paint ball wars, sky diving, a flooded-out wine tour, golf tournament, and dinner at the Four Seasons). But none of it has really sunk in. Maybe it's because I actually still have one more semester to go (damn you, dual master's degree!). Or maybe because it's been a gradual process of separation -- this second year of business school hasn't been quite a chummy as the first, with people taking on internships and other activities during the school year. But I'd like to think that it's because I know that the Gang of 100 will stay connected, despite geography, distance and time. (Thanks, in part, to Facebook).

So, tomorrow night, we'll don our robes, put on those ridiculous hats, fuss with the even more ridiculous hoods. But we'll smile, maybe we'll cry. Then, of course, we drink. Well, we'll be drinking beforehand too. Like we have been all week ... Ah, I love being able to count on something.

It's nice to know that if business school is all about the connections you make, then we're all in pretty good shape. Congrats to the Gang of 100!

Shout out to Project Bread!

Congratulations to Project Bread, who hosted its 40th Annual Walk For Hunger this past Sunday! With gas at $3.79 and milk at $4.29, rising food prices come to bear the hardest on the poor in the U.S. and around the world. Thanks to organization like Project Bread, there are brilliant and committed people who are trying to tackle this tough problem and provide relief to the people who need it most.

More than 40,000 people braved the rain and wind in Boston on Sunday and raised around $3.8 million to help alleviate hunger in Massachusetts. Special congrats to the Director of the Walk!

Consider making a "rainy day" donation to help hungry families. Project Bread is a great organization and I was involved in the Walk back in my Big Red days. I would've been there this year, if it hadn't been for those pesky final exams.

Feeling gassy?

Found this WSJ interview with Chevron CEO David O'Reilly really, really interesting -- especially in light of this rather ridiculous gas tax holiday that is being proposed. Excerpts below for those nonsubscribers.

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WSJ: Chevron is in a period of incredible profitability, with earnings of $18.69 billion in 2007. What do you say to consumers who are paying $100 every time they pull into a gas station to fill up their pickup trucks?

Mr. O'Reilly: The price of crude is not determined by drivers in Texas. It is determined by the total demand for energy globally. Oil production in this country has been in decline, and we're importing more and more oil. And we're competing for that oil with the people who are importing it into other countries to satisfy their needs. That's what's impacting the price at the pump today.

WSJ: Chevron is a major producer of crude oil, as well. Don't you have any control over the prices?

Mr. O'Reilly: Absolutely not. Our crude-oil production is about 1.5 million barrels a day, out of 88 million barrels a day globally. So we produce 2% of the total global supply. In reality, even though we're a very big company, we're a very, very small producer.

WSJ: In a 2005 speech, you said, "The time we could count on cheap oil and even cheaper natural gas is clearly ending." That day, oil cost $47 a barrel. Today it's close to $120. Any other predictions?

Mr. O'Reilly: Do I see the market going up significantly from where it is today? No, probably not. You are seeing the impact of the higher prices on demand. For example, here in the U.S., we've seen gasoline demand drop somewhat in the first quarter of the year. People are using gasoline more efficiently. Big trucks are selling much more slowly. Smaller, more efficient automobiles are selling [better]. The market is telling us that behavior change is required and I think we're starting to see it, but we need to see more of it.

WSJ: What do you think is the likely range for oil prices?

Mr. O'Reilly: I can't predict what the price is going to be. You would have to tell me what the economic situation in the world is going to be a year from now. I don't think it is going to get back to those relatively low levels we experienced in the late '90s and early 2000s.

WSJ: Ever?

Mr. O'Reilly: No.

WSJ: You've talked about people needing to conserve energy. What kind of car do you drive?

Mr. O'Reilly: I drive a Cadillac STS, and it's more efficient than the last car I was driving, which was an Escalade. I'm not driving in a Prius, if that's what you're asking.

WSJ: Gasoline use in the U.S. is down. Do you see signs of that happening elsewhere?

Mr. O'Reilly: No. I was in Turkey a couple of months ago. The price of gasoline is almost $11 a gallon. They're selling a record number of automobiles. Traffic is backed up all over Istanbul.

WSJ: At a meeting this month of the world's finance ministers, India's finance minister said: "When millions of people are going hungry, it's a crime against humanity that food should be diverted to biofuels." Turkey's finance minister called it "appalling." Are they right?

Mr. O'Reilly: They have a point. Just like oil, the demand for food is growing...It is impossible for us to conclude that somehow biofuels are not having an impact on the food-supply situation when 30% of the U.S. corn crop is going to biofuels.

WSJ: Is it morally justified to continue using so much agricultural production for transportation fuel?

Mr. O'Reilly: Well, I'm not going to make moral judgments about this. We're on the way to doubling or more than doubling ethanol production and consumption in our automobiles today, and it is by law that this is required. I think it ought to be revisited by people who know more about the food-supply situation. I know a lot about oil and gas. I'm not an expert on food.

WSJ: What is Chevron's role in developing alternative fuels?

Mr. O'Reilly: Since we're so heavily into the transportation-fuel business, I think our role is to try to come up with a nonfood source of biofuels that can make a meaningful contribution at [commercial] scale, because if it isn't at scale, it isn't going to make a significant difference.

WSJ: How close are you?

Mr. O'Reilly: It's years off yet.

WSJ: When you hear politicians talk about oil independence, what's your reaction?

Mr. O'Reilly: Unrealistic.

WSJ: Won't ever happen?

Mr. O'Reilly: No. Not in the time frame they talk about. We are actually going steadily in the opposite direction. We are not incentivizing investment in oil-and-gas exploration in this country. We are turning down coal-fired power plants because of concerns about the environment. We are slow to renew the use of nuclear power, so we are digging ourselves into a deeper hole here, in my view.

WSJ: Many people would argue that turning down coal plants because of environmental concerns is the right decision, that we should be using fossil fuels such as natural gas which have less carbon, less pollutants.

Mr.O'Reilly: We can't have our cake and eat it. If you don't want coal and you want gas, then you'd better open up acreage to look for it...

WSJ: In a few months, we'll have a new U.S. president. What energy-policy changes do you think will be imperative in the new administration?

O'Reilly: We've got to look at opening up OCS -- the outer continental shelf -- to oil-and-gas exploration. We can explore for and produce oil off [the coast of] Norway, Denmark, the Netherlands, the U.K., but we can't off 85% of the United States outer continental shelf. Why is that?

WSJ: What's the future of the Iraqi oil industry, and what is Chevron's role?

O'Reilly: Iraq has large oil-and-gas potential. We would be interested in developing a long-term relationship there, but on two conditions. One is obviously security. The second one is an oil-and-gas hydrocarbon law so that investments there are made with some sort of statutory, regulatory certainty. Neither of those two conditions exists today.

WSJ: What lessons have you learned during your eight years leading Chevron through a period of phenomenal change in the commodity markets?

O'Reilly: It's a long-term business, and you make investments for the long term. You have to be resilient and tough and committed and stay with your plans. Don't get down too much when you're going through bad times, but don't get too exuberant when you're going through good times because neither of those are representative of the long term.

WSJ: Chevron started off 129 years ago as Standard Oil of California in Pico Canyon. Have you seen the movie, "There Will Be Blood?"

O'Reilly: I have not. I just don't get time to see movies.