Rumor has it ...

... that Thursday night was an evening of debaucherous conduct among MBA students at a certain school in the Washington DC area. While there might be photographic evidence (Flickr, anyone?) of such slovenly, shameless schmoozing and snogging, I don't have access to it (yet) and you'll have to entertain yourself with words for the time being.

I hear the craziness began at Lucky's Bar around 6pm and continued on at Steve's Bar until about 2am. At least one of The Elders' men finally scored with a Gang of 100 woman ... there might have been more but when one is overwhelmed with a room spinning with more booze and bawdiness than a bordello in Bangkok, it's rather difficult to keep track of everyone and everything.

But let's not leave out The Elder women -- one of them repeatedly infringed upon the personal space of a Gang of 100 man by removing and replacing his belt while on the dance floor. Multiple times. Hell, who needs subtlety when the drinks are free and the music is pounding?

And, oh, the lascivious, lecherous liplocking! At least four members of the Gang of 100 were captivated with a game of tongue-twister ... some of them with each other. Scandalous. And I loved every salacious, slovenly second of smut. The night definitely hit its low point when one desperately-seeking Gang of 100 girl sucked face with Random Penis #1 on her right, only to turn to her left and entertain Random Penis #2 with the same methods.

Granted, it was a stressful week for all the aforementioned individuals. No wonder we had engaged people engaging in some rather raunchy dancefloor cavorting. I've not seen anything quite like it since Simon Smooth Money hit the pavement in a badly calculated attempt at the worm. As for me? I stayed sober and in control the entire night, all the better since I could observe and ogle the obscenities taking place before me. Not that I wasn't tempted. There was Justin, the brother of the bartender, and Random Big Black Man, who kept trying to cop a feel. Then again, nevermind. Temptation wasn't even an issue.

Is this really the future of corporate America? 'Fraid so, comrades.

Only in The District, kids. Only in The District.