Dare To Know

I'm starting a new series that I'm calling Aude Sapere, which is Latin for "dare to know." I came across this phrase in a completely random manner and liked it so much that I filed it away in my head to bring back at the appropriate time.

And that time would be now.

Generally, whenever I read or hear about some significant happening that I want to share with you, I post it on the blog -- but I've discovered that it often gets lost among the silly little notes that I write about my life. So, in an effort to make the more meaningful entries stand out, I'm creating a new series and giving it a catchy name, like any good marketer and communications professional would do. This series is meant to reveal events, people, and trends that each of us should dare to know. I anticipate that most of the pieces will not be fluffy nor give you that warm-and-squishy-like-a-chocolate-molten-cake feeling. My goal is to be challenging, perhaps a bit controversial, and eye-opening. Don't worry, not everything will be a depressing story that breaks your heart -- there are many stories that can be difficult to digest, yet still encouraging and uplifting. I promise to try and strike a balance.

For the inaugural edition of Aude Sapere, I've chosen to feature a young boy named Joab. Born into the Kibera slums in Nairobi, Kenya, Joab faces the complexities and catch-22 choices that accompany his mother's death and a society that lets him down. I'll give away a bit of the ending, in the hopes that you will be encouraged to watch this very short film clip -- the telling of Joab's story lands on a positive note.

So, dare to know. Dare to know the lives of others who seem so distant yet whose very basic desires and needs match our own. Dare to know the flippancy with which we, as the elite few, treat our privilege and education. Dare to know the determination and the courage that can come from even the smallest boy living among the ruins.


Click here to play.






Link won't work? http://www.pbs.org/wnet/wideangle/shows/school2/vid/right2.html#

Living single, living fabulous

Highlights and tips from the Asiatino/Mexinese wedding:

1. Don't drink too many margaritas during the rehearsal dinner. It makes a 7am appointment with Peter for hair and makeup really really unpleasant.
2. If you're supposed to bring Grandma to the church at 10am for an 11am wedding, don't go for a jog at 9:30am and show up at 10:50am. It makes the mother of the bride go INSANE.
3. Make your guests figure out how to get themselves around town because juggling three cars and multiple airport pickups and dropoffs is not fun for anyone involved.
4. Herding Asians and Mexicans for post-ceremony pictures is a Herculean task that most photographers are not cut out for
5. Reassure the Caucasians that it's normal for brown people and yellow people to make a lot of jokes about their ethnicity.
   
6. You can definitely write a quality maid of honor speech in the car ride to the church.
7. Hire the Vietnamese Trio for your next Houston wedding -- one does the hair and makeup, another does the flowers, and the third does the cake. And it's all phenomenal.
   

All in all, despite some of the craziness, the weekend was so great! It was so much fun to see people I haven't seen in probably 10 years and, of course, I saw my little sister get married. I still hardly believe it. She looked so glowy and happy and her now-husband was just the sweetest thing ever during the whole Asian Family Insanity.

If there was one downside, it was that everyone seemed to want me to get married. The hair guy thought I was the bride. My own father accidentally referred to me as the matron of honor. The pastor asked the groom to take me as his wife during the rehearsal instead of my sister. Many, many, many people wanted to know when it was going to be my turn. I don't know if all this happened because it was my younger sister who got married, or if I'm getting old, or if it's some combination. I've never before been bombarded with this many inquiries about settling down -- and never before have I been fazed by it. I usually shrug off those comments, crack a joke, then forget about them. Me and marriage live in different zipcodes.

But I was fazed this time. Completely unsettled and left feeling like everyone was looking at my life and shaking their heads sadly. I began to wonder when or whether I'd find someone to marry me. I found myself really wanting the ring, the wedding, the settling down, the family thing. The situation worsened when we went to church on Sunday and, I kid you not, everyone I saw who looked my age was married or engaged! Feeling wretchedly demoralized, I followed everyone back to brunch -- only to have a woman I had just met tell me that I am intimidating to men. For a split second, I regretted nearly every aspect of my personality and the choices I've made -- having ambition, some degree of intelligence, education, opinions. If I had just toned it down a few notches, if I hadn't worked so hard at school or office, if I had subjugated my ambition to some man's, then maybe, just maybe, I'd be one of those girls with a gorgeous ring on her hand ...

Then I realized I was being stupid. And that Houston, where the average marrying age seems to be 21 and older women still talk about getting an "MRS" degree, is not good for my emotional health. I need to be around my fellow professional, urban, single women! And not in a man-hating, male-bashing kind of way -- in a living single and living fabulous kind of way. It's gotta be better than pretending to be a flight attendant to snag a husband, as Maureen Dowd wrote today.

So, crisis averted. I didn't run off with the first available male in a desperate attempt to marry into happiness and I harbor no bitterness toward anyone who suggested I settle down and get married.

Maybe someday ... but not today.

Finally

The craziness has subsided. Mostly.

My sister has a new last name and we now have the first Asiatino marriage in the family. There were plenty of Mexican and Asian jokes flying around today and I was thoroughly entertained to see the white folk look all confused and somewhat shocked.

Will write more about the details later -- last night, I had too many margaritas, which made getting up at 7am for hair and makeup royally difficult. And tonight, I'm tired right down to the very marrow of my body. Suffice it to say that the Asians came out in full form -- even bringing in a DVD of a 1987 apple picking trip with many of the families that my sister and I grew up with in Chicago. And we watched it on my parents' flat screen TV in surround sound. Need I really say more?

The Weekend of Insanity Begins!

I've made it to Houston, finally, for my sister's wedding. And I'm just now beginning to realize the full extent of the INSANITY that will ensue over the weekend. (Background note: The craziness is mostly caused by the fact that my sister only got engaged a month ago. My mother now considers herself an expert in planning weddings in three weeks.)

For the amount of time that I've spent on the phone with my parents and my sister, there is a remarkable amount of information that has NOT been communicated to me. Like how my sister made an appointment on Friday morning at the same time I had scheduled our mani/pedi date. And how my mom went ahead and scheduled a mani/pedi at a different place and didn't tell me.

I also arrived to find out that I'm sharing a room with my grandmother for a night. She snores. Why doesn't anyone realize that I need to be prepped for these kinds of situations?! Seriously, the last thing one wants after coming halfway around the world and working 20-hour days is to unexpectedly share a room with someone whose mere breathing shatters windows.

Sigh.

So, stay tuned to the Lady V Prophecy. I'm going to do my best to blog as things unfold during the weekend. The rehearsal dinner is tomorrow night; the wedding on Saturday; Asians everywhere.

I Know What I Need!

For years, I've been under the impression that I need a "wife." I totally need someone to keep my schedule straight, cook meals for me, tidy up the house so it's neat when I get home, fold and iron my laundry, and pick up my dry cleaning. I've literally been waking up in a haze these days, unsure of where exactly I'm supposed to go and how I'm supposed to dress. I think it's all a side effect of taking two internships along with five classes, traveling to the Middle East, midterms, and preparing for my little sister's wedding. Never mind trying to also juggle the emotional complexities of having a younger sister married off, worrying about what the heck I'm gonna do after grad school, and dealing with boy drama. These days, I just long for boredom. Seriously. I often wonder what it must be like to have a day with absolutely nothing to do, nothing to think about, no emails or phone calls to return, nothing.

But I've suddenly realized that I've been wrong all these years. I don't need a wife.

I need an understudy.

Yep, a perfect clone or maybe someone that loosely resembles the Lady V. Just think -- I could send her out on the first date from a match.com adventure. Especially if I'm having a bad hair day or just want to sleep instead. The Lady V understudy could have studied for my econ midterm and taken it in my place. But instead, I had to take a two hour exam having only crammed for an hour beforehand. Just think of all those times you've wished you could be in two places at once! An understudy totally solves all these problems. She could be in my Finance class while I rake in money for a nonprofit as a guest bartender. She could be home cooking dinner while I'm studying. I could even send her out as my representative to hang out with those people that I don't want to make time for, but know that I need to. Okay, that would be sorta mean, but it would be such a beautiful thing ...

Now, I just have to find another Asian in D.C. I should hold a casting call. Oh! Even better, I should post a Craigslist ad and pay by the hour ... hmmmm ...

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