My most recent phone conversation with Comcast (made from the office because my digital voice line keeps going out and I can’t use it to call them and tell them that my Internet is down)
Comcast: Thank you for calling Comcast. Please enter your 10-digit phone number
Me (dialing): beep bip beep bo beep beep beep bip bip
Comcast: Please enter your zip code
Me (dialing): bleep beep bip bip beep
Comcast: For trouble with your service, press 1; for billing, press 2; to transfer or downgrade your service, press 3
Me (dialing): Beep
Comcast: For security purposes, please enter your 10-digit phone number.
Me (speaking): What the eff? Didn’t I just do that? (dialing) beep bip beep bo beep beep beep bip bip
Comcast: Please enter your zip code.
Me: Seriously? (dialing) bleep beep bip bip beep
Comcast: To transfer your service, press 1…
Me (dialing): beep
Comcast: One moment. (series of bleeps)
Patricia, the Comcast lady: Thank you for calling Comcast. This is Patricia. How can I help you?
Me: I need to change the name on my Comcast account to my roommate.
Patricia: You need to go in person to your local billing station and fill out a form.
(I pause and wait for her to tell me where it is. She doesn’t)
Me: Can you tell me the phone number and address of the payment center?
Patricia: What city do you live in?
Me (thinking): Didn’t I just give you zip code TWICE?! (then, out loud) Alexandria, VA
Patricia: It’s at 508 D South Van Dorn St.
Me: And what’s the phone number?
Patricia: They don’t have a phone number because they don’t take calls.
Me: (thinking) Oh dear God in heaven above … (out loud) Ok. Can you please email me the form?
Patricia: No, we don’t have it electronically.
(I pause and wait for some kind of apologetic follow-up or explanation. She doesn’t give one).
Me: Ohhh-kay then. Um. Thanks?
Patricia: Sure, thanks for calling Comcast. Have a good day.
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