Kill. Me. Now.

I've officially been in Dulles International Airport for 10 and a half hours. During my reluctant sojourn, I've learned the following things:

1. Today, the World was having a stupid day.
2. United Airlines is the stupidest of them all.
3. One free ticket doesn't make up for 11 hours in an airport.
4. Every food vendor in Dulles closes at 9pm except for Wendy's.
5. It takes 5 hours to download an iTunes movie on the Dulles internet connection.
   
6. Spending more than two hours in the Red Carpet Club sucks.
7. Small, screaming children suck.
8. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
9. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
10. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
11. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
12. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
13. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
14. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
15. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.

oh, sorry. I thought I was CNN for a moment there.

Here's what I don't know -- what communications/marketing person at United came up with the "Red Carpet" idea? In theory, it sounds great. But in practice -- a red 2' x 4' floormat in front of the gate is stupid and doesn't make up for the stunning incompetence of the company.

Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas .... Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas ... it's like a mantra. A salve. Somehow, strangely soothing ... You know you've lost it when repetitious thoughts of Anna Nicole Smith calm your nerves.