You've reached the end of procrastination

Heading into that dreaded end-of-the-semester time warp, I am swamped with work.

So I spent Monday evening procrastinating.

I actually reached the point where I had run out of procrastination things to do. I had updated my profile on Facebook, played Scrabulous, uploaded some photos, read through all my favorite news websites, caught up on my favorite blogs, sent a few social emails, did a load of laundry, even flipped through The Hill Rag.

And then I ran out of stuff to do.

Which is when I started to work. I'm paying for it now.

But, in case you're also running out of procrastination ideas, here are a few more tools for your toolbox. I've assigned each of them a UOP, or unit of procrastination. Deriving the UOP involves a complicated algorithm that includes total time spent, total opportunity cost, change in net calories (accounting for calories expended by typing quickly and calories gained by snacking), the number of times the third branch from the top of the tree outside my window shakes, the depth and breadth of my iTunes playlist, and other associated factors.

1. Visit blogs/websites (35 UOPs). And go through the archives in case you missed anything (53 UOPs). Here are a few favorites:

• McCainBloggette -- John McCain's daughter blogs while on the campaign trail with her dad. I'm not a McCain follower but Meghan's posts and pictures are addicting.
• The Onion -- the satire news site is always a favorite to make me laugh
  
• The Budget Fashionista -- best part about this site is that it entices you to conduct an online shopping spree (86 UOPs)
  

2. Tidy up the house. Surely that cabinet under the bathroom sink could be re-organized? (17 UOPs) And the kitchen dish towels need washing (6 UOPs).

3. Update every social networking site you belong to, e.g. Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn (22 UOPs). If you're super-desperate, you can even include Friendster (3.7 UOPs).

4. Write out a to do list (4 UOPs)

5. Then ignore it. (N/A)

6. Do some online catching up on shows that you've been hearing about, but have never watched. Like Friday Night Lights. (102 UOPs for watching the pilot and 2 others)

And there you have it. If you complete all the aforementioned tasks, you'll have earned 330.7 UOPs. Whew! I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Before you know it, it'll be time to go to bed; you'll have accomplished nothing but at least you did stuff (just like many of the people I worked with at Big Red).

Good luck! May time not be on your side and may your brain be idle.