Food Roundup

I've turned into a food junkie. Not in an unhealthy, trans fat, carbohydrate-soaked, grease-dripping kind of way. More like an unhealthy obsession with health foods, food trends, and Food Network Channel kind of way.

I can't help it. Every time I see that cute-as-pie Rachael Ray in her ill-fitting shirts, I'm compelled to watch the back-to-back episodes. I look at a sandwich and I calculate how many Weight Watcher points I'll lose if I consume it. I look at alcohol and I ignore how many Weight Watcher points I'll lose if I consume it. (you do it too, don't lie to yourself.) You get the picture.

Anyway, over the past week, I've noticed a number of unusual food-related stories. Here's your Food Roundup:

• Foodgasm or Orgasm? See if you can tell the difference between Food Network celebs and porn stars
• Eggs that talk back. New, invisible ink logos appear on eggs when they are properly soft, medium or hard boiled
• Lesson 1: The McDonalds fries are better than Burger King's . A Chicago-based program teaches refugees how to eat American food properly.
  

In reference to that last bullet .... seriously?! I do love this country but why does America have to be so poisonous sometimes?

Single and poor

Oh crap. I'm moving from the No. 2 city in America for singles to the No. 9 city. And how, you might ask, would one rate cities for singles? According to Forbes.com, that all-knowing, hip publication known for its trendy appeal to fun-loving singles, they rated their cities on "nightlife, culture, job growth, number of other singles, cost of living alone, online dating and coolness."

I'm sorry. Coolness? Since when did Forbes become the authority on coolness? Must have been after their stories on Renault profit declines and cutesy, overdone headlines like "EMI and Warner Face the Music."

But, I shouldn't fear about being single in the No. 9 city. Not when I have Forbes' guide to "Snagging a Rich Man." Do check it out, it's worth the watch. The quotables:

"No more dive bars. Dive bars are not where the moneyed hang out."

"The charity circuit is a rich man turn on."

"How do you tell if a man is rich? Moby is rich but sometimes he looks homeless."

Forbes has sunk to a new low.

More than words

I've recently become aware of how capriciously we employ certain words in the English language. For reasons unknown, we don't always think through the full meaning of our words, how they affect others, the unintended consequences. And we do ourselves a disservice by such cavalier attitudes, don't we? We cheapen words that should have significance, we diminish the power of their meaning.

For example, when was the last time you really thought about the true meanings of sacrifice, eternity, love, unconditional, hope?

But instead of creating other words to make up for our belittling mouths, we're actually adding to and validating the most shallow parts of human nature. Check out some of the new additions to the Oxford Dictionary:

aerobicized -- adj. (of a person's body) toned by aerobic exercise: aerobicized Hollywood women.

bahookie -- n. Scottish a person's buttocks

celebutante -- n. a celebrity who is well known in fashionable society

crunk -- n. a type of hip-hop or rap music characterized by repeated shouted catchphrases and elements typical of electronic dance music, such as prominent bass

Not that I didn't love RIZE as much as the next person, or adore Billy Connelly any less -- but do me a favor. Put down the US Weekly/Page Six/The Sun for a bit, think about a person you truly love unconditionally, and go out and tell them so. Sure, it sounds cheesy, but hey, it never hurts to think about these things a little more often.

A disturbing view from Missouri

The Missouri Corn Growers Association placed a number of these billboards across the state earlier this year. That's a white farmer in a polo shirt on the left and the former king of Saudi Arabia on the right.

Not that ethanol doesn't have its advantages (and disadvantages too), but can someone please explain to me how this blatantly racist advertisement makes its point? From the Columbia Daily Tribune:

Becky Grisham, MCGA’s director of communications, said the billboards were designed to bring more awareness to the issue of statewide ethanol standards under consideration in the Missouri General Assembly and the overall effort to promote the homegrown industry. "I think it’s done a pretty good job," Grisham said.

Sheesh. And I thought working in communications at Big Red was bad ....

Make it work!

I'm letting you in on a little secret -- one of the greatest small pleasures in my life right now is watching Project Runway. And, more specifically, watching Tim Gunn, the molasses-voiced co-host who also happens to be the head of Parsons School of Design in NYC. Since I was busy packing up my kitchen last night, I sadly missed the new episode of Project Runway and because Bravo has some stupid new show with a jacked-up woman called (surprise) Jackie, so they no longer air Runway back-to-back. I mean, really. Israel is bombing Lebanon, I need an escape from the dirty underbelly of life and Bravo isn't running back-to-back episodes of Project Runway? Come ON, people.

So, in an effort to stay abreast of the Runway issues, I went to the fountain of all knowledge (the Internet) where to my very great delight, I found Tim Gunn's blog, "Tim's Take." Add that to my list of everyday reads!

Ctrl + Alt + Del

My apologies for the blogging break. After I discontinued my landline in an effort to save money, all my neighbors with highspeed wireless internet decided to encrypt their networks. This is what I get for trying to steal internet...

But I'm rebooting the blog -- since rebooting seems to be one of my life's current theme. The down and dirty news -- I'm moving to Washington DC to start graduate school! Originally, I had thought that if I'm going to give up a full-time job and a full-time salary to be a poor student again, I might as well graduate with two degrees instead of one. Hey, I never said I wasn't an overachieving masochist.... so off I go for a three-year program in business and international relations.

The moving preparations are underway ... sort of. At least I have a place to live. And I have boxes from the UHaul man, who told me that the Christians are after him because they keep approaching him and telling him that he needs peace in his life. Which is understandable, since this poor guy just lost two friends in neighborhood violence. I told him that maybe that Jesus guy was trying to tell him something and we shared a few laughs over some of our church experiences gone wrong. But that's not the point of my story today. My story today takes place east of Capitol Hill, near the Potomac Ave metro stop, where I finally end up after a fruitless morning apartment hunt.

I arrived in front of the most rundown house on the street. A big metal door with a dirty window, through which I could barely make out an unlit, dingy hallway with a rickety staircase. But a phone call to Mrs. Banks (the elderly tenant with the keys to the apartment) proved another deadend -- she informed me that the apartment rented the day before. Wishing I could ctrl+alt+delete the entire day, I listlessly walked toward the street where I was greeted by a random woman on a bike, who had stopped to take a cell phone call. (Are there rules yet about driving a bike while on a cell phone?) She started up a friendly conversation with me, I told her about my frustrating house hunt and she told me about a new apartment building a few blocks down the road. So I followed her.

Now, I know this seems like a crazy thing, following a strange woman around the streets of Washington DC's east side ... but ...nevermind, I don't have a good excuse. We finally arrived at a far-from-finished apartment building with a banner that proudly displayed the development company's phone number. She went on her merry way and I disheartedly copied down the number. Another ctrl alt del moment.

But as I turned, I caught a glimpse of a woman pulling out brand new, flattened moving boxes out of her car across the street. She struck up a conversation with me and I relayed my entire tale of woe and anguish. She then proceeded to tell me that she was being transferred to London for two years and needed to rent out her GORGEOUS two bedroom row house.

I guess sometimes we just have to let life play out before rebooting everytime ...