Two quasi-depressing articles came my way today.
The minor article of the two comes from a NY Times review on two diametrically opposed guidebooks for women who want to succeed in the business world. One book, entitled “Seducing the Boys Club: Uncensored Tactics From a Woman at the Top,” says flaunt what you got and leverage your sensuality and flirting abilities to manipulate men. The other, “What Men Don’t Tell Women About Business” (written by a "reformed alpha male") says don't be a man but be more ruthless. I didn't realize there was still a market for books employing such grossly over-used stereotypes.
The major article I want to draw attention to is from The Atlantic Monthly -- called "Marry Him!" In it, a 40-something single mother tells women in their 30s to settle for Mr. Good Enough and forget about Mr. Right. It wasn't quite the 30 minutes of soul crushing that I was warned about, but then again, I'm not exactly as thrilled to be single as I was before I read Ms. Gottlieb's piece. She does put forth valid and pragmatic insights -- for example, especially in light of the recent spendfest we call Valentine's Day, there is certainly something to be said about today's gooey, over-romanticized, Hallmark-propagated perception of love and marriage. And, since we all settle to some degree or another, we might as well settle while we're younger and have access to a larger pool of men. Then again, I don't quite understand why she is focusing her efforts on finding a man rather than focusing on how to live a fulfilled life as a single mom. Yeah, it's hard but no one says marriage is easy either. Both statuses come with pros and cons, so you might as well make the best of whatever situation you find yourself in.
Regardless of my thoughts on these books or this article, it still seems clear to me that we simply need better men ... and more of them. Or we could follow the advice that I sang oh-so-many year ago in my high school production of Guys and Dolls -- "marry the man today ... and change his ways tomorrow!"
1 comment:
Harry Hurt is a misguided reporter (and might I add a bad writer). I read Seducing the Boys Club and nowhere does it say "flaunt what you got and leverage your sensuality and flirting abilities to manipulate men"
Men really do listen like dogs (Harry Hurt being a case in point). They hear what they want.
In fact, Nina DiSesa squarely cautions women AGAINST becoming sex objects. She uses provocative terms like seduction and manipulation to get our attention but it's seduction without sex and manipulation without malice. Essentially she encourages us to find something we're damn good at. Then encourages us to actively manage our careers and our futures by taking control not sitting back. And what's wrong with that?
Is she provocative? Absolutely!! I saw her speak at the CommonWealth Club in SFO last week and I was blown away.
What an amazing woman. And funny to boot.
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