CNN

The part about Cheney almost sounds as though they're sad he escaped unscathed ... or am I just reading into it?

Why I'm bummed out

We didn't win the case competition.

The cute boy who flirted with me all weekend long during the case competition finally admitted (sheepishly) that he has a girlfriend -- but not until we were at the freakin' Denver airport in the super long security line.

No more Studio 6o on the Sunset Strip. In protest, I refuse to watch its replacement.

After getting very little sleep over the weekend, I had to prepare for today's finance quiz, public policy presentation and information systems midterm.

I've worn off the letters e, d, and c on my one-year-old laptop and my 4 key keeps sticking. Weird.

Gone with the wind

I left my house this morning without my keys. And didn't realize it until I got to school and tried to get into my locker, which I couldn't do since my locker key was at home with the rest of my keys. Yesterday, I left my house without my wallet and didn't realize until I made it halfway to the train station. Last night, I went to study accounting and couldn't find my textbook and had to borrow one from a nearby Gang member at 9:30pm, making me miss the second half of American Idol. I'm gonna go ahead and blame my absentmindedness on this head cold that I'm trying to shake off.

So here I am in Boulder, CO. After the past few days I've had, it's a wonder I made it here in one piece. I better pull it together in the next few hours though -- I'm here because my team made it past the first round of a Net Impact Business Case Competition and we're here to compete in the final round. We gonna kick some butt, as my kindergarteners would say. Not that we let them use such language without a reprimand. Of course, it's usually a reprimand given with a repressed grin -- it's so hard not to laugh when these little six-year-olds tug on your arm, show you a dried up a gluestick and say "Ms. V, this glue is all jacked up!"

Girl Meets Guinness

A play in three acts. A true story. By The Lady V.

ACT I

Girl sidles up to bar in a typical Irish pub. Wooded walls, Guinness signs, sticky floor, etc.

GIRL: Barkeep, could I get a Guinness and a Smithwicks?

BARKEEP: Sure.

Girl waits patiently, notices a small, bearded, un-cute man in a sweater next to her.

BEARD: Hey.

GIRL (a little wary): Hey.

BEARD: What perfume are you wearing?

GIRL: Dude, I'm not wearing any. It must be someone else.

BEARD: No, it's you. You smell like a girl I knew in middle school.

GIRL (slightly freaked, thinking who the hell says that?): Um. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

BEARD: Oh, it's a good thing.

Awkward pause. Girl is relieved to see the bartender with two beers coming her way.

BEARD: Do you use Herbal Essence?

GIRL (now totally freaked out, thinking BEARD has just stuck his nose in her hair): Uh, yeah. But that's not at all okay for you to say that.

Girl throws down money, grabs the beers, leaves the bar.

ACT II

Girl is now near the stage, eagerly waiting for the band, a group of Ukrainian men who play Irish music. (weird, right?) She's with friends.

FRIEND 1 (male): I hear this band is fantastic.

GIRL: Do you think they're single?

FRIEND 1: I have a source. Let me find out.

Friend leaves in search of "source." Band starts to play. All four men are hot. Especially the one on fiddle and the one on guitar. Hot like I want to jump you, tear off your clothes and take you down on stage right now hot. Friend 1 returns.

FRIEND 1: My source says the fiddler is single but that "he's mine."

GIRL: Yeah, well, that's what she thinks. But what about the guitarist?

FRIEND 1: Let me find out. It'll give me another excuse to talk to my source.

Band is rockin' out, Girl starts dancing with her friends. The dancing is more like a let's be silly and fun and do a jig and be The Lady V O'Leary for the night. It is Irish music, after all.

FRIEND 2 (female): I want the fiddler.

GIRL: Okay, I'll take the guitarist.

FRIEND 3 (male) : Are you guys really talking about the guys in the band?

GIRL and FRIEND 2: Hellz, yeah.

Girl notices the semi-cute boy next to her who keeps looking over.

BOY: You're a great dancer.

Boy ceases to be semi-cute. Girl moves on.

ACT III

Girl makes eye contact with the beautiful specimen on guitar. He grins. She grins back. Hot guitarist winks at Girl. Friend 1 chooses this instant to drop his pint of Guinness on Girl's bag.

The end.

Bring it on, Wintry Mix!

It's 1:26am and already schools have announced closings. I noticed three things:

1. My school isn't listed yet. But I still have hope! It's nice to know that the anticipation of a snow day doesn't fade even in graduate school. I'd try sledding too, if class were canceled, except that it's sleeting out there, not snowing.

2. Manassas Park City Schools have put employees on "Code Blue." What the heck does that mean? Initiate the phone chain? Make sure the crayons don't freeze? It's not like a man with a live bomb embedded in his body has rolled into the school on a stretcher...

3. City of Manassas is open with liberal leave. Um. I guess the conservatives have to work in this wintry mix. Sucks to be them.

Then again, maybe we should keep all schools open b/c our children r not gettin smarter & hafta use IM speak more than ever B4, so sez The Washington Post. TTYL.

Why Amazon Rocks

C'mon, that's pretty funny. Amazon even put together a whole shopping list for the V-Day haters out there. (Don't worry, there's a page for you romantics, too). No, I'm not one of those anti-VDay pessimists but I did enjoy the "dark side" writeup:

Welcome to the dark side, where no one has to fret about trying to get a reservation for an oppressively crowded restaurant on February 14. Instead, you can watch some great films (even though they're bad date movies), rejoice that you don't have to worry about avoiding any Valentine's gift pitfalls, and, best of all, shop for yourself. We've been keeping a tally of how many of you loathe Valentine's Day and how many are starry-eyed fools in love, so if you haven't already, please cast your ballot. Then, if you like, you can chat about this silly holiday on the I Hate Valentine's Day forum at the bottom of this page. And think about where you might like to go for a leisurely dinner on February 15.

On a somewhat related note, the more money you have, the better sex you have. According to a study entitled "Money as an Aphrodisiac -- Being Rich Means Getting Lucky on Your Own Terms." Ah but money can't buy class, can it?

Grammy fever

Knock award shows all you want, but I still love the Grammy's. Mary J is up for eight freakin' Grammy's, the object of my lust is going to perform and I love surprise performers!

On a different note altogether, men will be able to buy Viagra over the counter on Valentine's Day. Gotta hand it to the old fogie Brits. More here.

Blah

I've been behind on blogging lately. Mostly 'cuz I've been in such a funk, without any good explanation. School work is the about same, I haven't been sick this winter (thank you, flu shot), I've been so well-behaved financially, I'm getting sleep, got some kissy action recently, and I think I'm eating right.

Which only leaves one explanation -- I need to get out of the country. Yep, that must be it. I haven't left the U.S. borders since Bolivia and that was 10 months ago! My general rule of thumb is to leave the country at least every six months and I've adhered to that heuristic for the past 5 or so years. I must be in withdrawal. Since Habitat for Humanity won't call me back, I've given up on the humanitarian Spring Break mission and am planning to simply soak up the sun in either Puerto Rico or The Dominican Republic. Now that sounds like a perfect way to re-energize ... and meet a Latino lover.

Of course, an alternate hypothesis is that there hasn't been much Gang of 100 gossip in recent days. Everyone has been busy with case competitions, hunting for internships and fulfilling our newly appointed roles as club officers. Boring!

Baby it's cold outside

God hates the Indianapolis Colts too. That's why he made it so frickin cold today. There's a severe weather alert in the DC area. I like the last part. It makes me feel like the National Weather Service cares about me just as much as my mom, even if they don't send me dried oysters.

A WIND CHILL ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 9 AM EST TUESDAY.

VERY COLD TEMPERATURES AND LOW WIND CHILL VALUES WILL CONTINUE TO AFFECT THE REGION THROUGH TUESDAY MORNING. WIND CHILLS BETWEEN 10 AND 15 BELOW ZERO WILL BE COMMON BY TUESDAY MORNING.

A WIND CHILL ADVISORY MEANS THAT VERY COLD AIR AND STRONG WINDS WILL COMBINE TO GENERATE LOW WIND CHILLS. THIS WILL RESULT IN FROST BITE AND LEAD TO HYPOTHERMIA IF PRECAUTIONS ARE NOT TAKEN. WHEN OUTDOORS...DRESS IN LAYERS...AND WEAR A HAT AND GLOVES.

BEAR DOWN!

Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory;

Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.
We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation.
Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you're wearing the crown.
You're the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down.

For more Bear-ilicious delights, check out why Chicagoans are the best fans in the world.

Less than 24 hours to go!!!

The world will end on January 31, 2873

The gods in heaven and hell were up to mischief on this, the last day of January 2007. Today will go down in history as the day when D.C. Metro police learned to use that newfangled telephone, Boston embarrassed itself in front of the nation, and Flipper became an enemy of the state. From this day forward, January 31 will never be the same for me. Or for the country.

Here is how the day unfolded:

3 a.m. -- Suspicious packages found at Braddock Road station in Alexandria, Virginia.

3:14 a.m. -- Alexandria police call Metro police.

3:18 a.m. -- Alexandria police call Metro police. Again. From The Post: "On the first call, the dispatcher said: 'Hey, I want to double-check -- you have a bomb dog that's going to be assisting there at the Braddock Metro, right?' The Metro police dispatcher 'stated that they did not have a bomb dog assisting' and hung up." Way to build up our confidence, fellas.

5 a.m. -- Virginia State Police team finally arrives, followed by Metro's explosives technicians. Good thing it wasn't a real bomb.

8:05 a.m. -- In Boston, a train passenger notices "what was described as an object with wires and tubes stuck on a steel support girder underneath Interstate 93, about 12 to 15 feet above the bus depot at Sullivan Square Station in Charlestown."

9:26 a.m. -- Suspicious activity reported in the D.C. metro. All trains pull to a stop. In the tunnels. In the dark. With me on board. For the next 15 minutes. Dying in a metro tunnel ranks up there with death by plummeting off the world's most dangerous road.

9:47 a.m. -- A short circuit in an electrical line causes a fire in a D.C metro station ... for the second day in a row. The station closes.

10:48 a.m. -- The station reopens.

10:59 a.m. -- The station closes.

11:40 a.m. -- The station reopens. For real. Promise.

11:00 a.m. -- Visitors in Key West call 911 because a dolphin in a tank surfaced with several items, including one that looked like a homemade bomb. It turned out to be a toy. My question is, who was the person who identified the toy as a homemade bomb? Would you recognize a homemade bomb in a dolphin tank? Not me.

1:00 p.m. -- Meanwhile, back in Boston, the police continue to receive calls about these suspicious objects throughout the metropolitan area.

4:00 p.m. -- City and state officials hold a press conference to quell fears and Turner Broadcasting admits it was a publicity stunt. Turns out, the objects were cartoon characters promoting a new show. Seriously, Boston? You confused a cartoon character giving you the finger with a bomb?!

life's random

A compilation of random thoughts:

Penelope Cruz is a much better actress in her native tongue. I saw the latest Almodovar film, Volver, in which she stars and was blown away. While it's a quirky film, the female-focused characters are touching, strong and entertaining.

My state senator, Patricia Ticer, sits on two of the most interestingly named committees I've ever come across -- the subcommittee of penalties for dog attacks and the subcommittee on waste discharge permits. Um. Seriously, I'm not really sure I'd list those on my resume.

What does one do with 23 kindergarten children? I'm not sure, but I'm going to find out on Tuesday. As a new volunteer tutor for Heads Up DC, I will be working with an afterschool literacy program every Tuesday afternoon in southeast DC. Somehow, I got stuck as the only tutor to help a teacher with 23 kindergarten children. Oh. My. God.

Pythons eat dogs.

It's flammable

Last night was the first IPO of the semester. I was totally looking forward to observing the Gang acting all crazy and promptly sharing the stories with you. Surely, thought I, the first IPO of the semester will provide endless amounts of excellent blog fodder. Except that I ended up being the craziness and only remember half of the night. It wasn't really my fault! I blame it on the 3 gin and tonics. And the 3 shots of I-don't-know-what. And the 3 glasses of champagne. uggghhhh .... The good news is that I should wear that brown dress more often -- men were buying me drinks all night and I received a whole bunch of compliments. Great for the ego and the budget! The bad news is that I got into a fight with an Australian on the street (don't remember any of it) and was hungover all day. Ew.

Needless to say, I wasn't very productive today. I bought folders at CVS. And I put stuff into the folders.

I also set my kitchen sponge on fire. That was definitely the highlight of my day. Now, before you judge me, let me just say that I read an article in this week's Post about a scientific study that showed you can sterilize your sponges by nuking them for two minutes. I figured it would be a good idea to have a germ-free sponge. Unfortunately, while the scientific claim may be true, it is also a fact that sponges don't take well to microwaving. After about a minute and a half, the plastic scrubby layer starts to melt and the insides have been crisped black. In my lethargic state, it took me a few moments to comprehend that a burning smell of plastic and a smoking sponge was not a good combination. In a slight panic, I prematurely terminated the sterilization process and gingerly removed the almost-germ-free sponge, which was now starting to ooze melted plastic and whose corner was completely blackened. It didn't smell so good. Who knew you could overcook a sponge?

Always on top of things, The Post today published an article about other sponges who have met similar fiery demises. It's nice to know I'm not the only irresponsible sponge owner. Schadenfreude!

The 2007 Elections

You didn't know there were a significant 2007 elections did you? Well, as it turns out, the Gang of 100 is electing its very own student administration today and Yours Truly is running for president. Like any good business student I have made the following pledge as part of my campaign:

I pledge to always share juicy stories about the rest of my classmates, no matter how far behind in schoolwork I fall. I shall use what power is bestowed upon me to uphold the rights of business students everywhere, as we are an underpriveleged, oppressed lot. I will faithfully execute the office of president and hereby solemnly swear to understand the difference between LIFO and FIFO.

Bill Cosby wants his sweater back

My professor is wearing a Bill Cosby sweater ... and it practically reaches his knees. I'm waiting for this guy to break out with "Jellllllo puddin' pops!" but he's white. Not sure it would work out so well. I'm trying so hard to pay attention but his teaching style is reminiscent of my middle school days and I find it rather distracting. After all, middle school was a tumultuous time. I think I was still trying to dye my hair blond with a yellow marker.

The SOTU blog

My thoughts as they flowed during the State of the Union address....I didn't start typing until about 9:20, though.

9:00 We see the Supreme Court justices, Cabinet and Joint Chiefs of Staff entering. Everyone looks so friendly and happy! Oh and there's Barack, with Hillary seated right behind him. Madame Speaker! Cool and it's about time. Georgie just told Nancy to get the party started. I wonder if she forget she's supposed to bang the gavel. Interesting -- POTUS didn't start by saying "the state of our union is strong." But he did point out rising wages, low unemployment, 41 months of growth.

9:20 McCain looks old. Another Barack/Hilary shot.

9:21 Is Ted Kennedy drunk or asleep? Ok, so eliminating earmarks is a priority.

9:22 No Child Left Behind ... my ass. Education is the next priority.

9:23 And now he brings out health care..was that a snicker on his face? Is Cheney's tie really iridescent purple? That's awesome.

9:24 Barack is sleeping. Doesn't he know he's splitting camera time with POTUS and She-ra? Hillary's lips are taut.

9:25 Yay Lieberman! You deserved to win.

9:26 How come Michael Levitt gets a screen title and the highest ranking Asian woman in the country doesn't? NBC, you disappoint me.

9:27 Medical liability. Only the Repubs liked that one. Oh, there's John Kerry. Poor guy -- he still wants to run for prez.

9:28 Temporary work visas is now the topic of the hour. C'mon, where's the Dem applause? Another McCain shot. Another Barack/ Hilary shot, new angle though. Good job, NBC. I was getting bored with the closeup.

9:29 Comprehensive immigration reform -- and the crowd goes wiiiiiled!

9:30 Now we need to diversify the energy supply. Did anyone else see the new Ford Edge hydrogen fuel cell car? Too bad it cost them $2 million for the prototype. Hee -- POTUS just said "veeHICKuls"

9:31 Energy reform. Looks like that's another bridging topic. Cheney is either chewing on the stuff stuck in his teeth or he's choking down a smirk about energy reform.

9:33 whoa Prez and VP just took a coordinated drink together. weird.

9:34 oh, Dems don't like what he just said about fast Senate approvals of his Justice appointees. First mention of "terra-ists" so far.

9:36 A shot of the Senator from Maine. Not sure why she's important.

9:37 I find it sad that men can only wear brown, black or navy blue suits. The women get to have all the colors.

9:38 "totalitarian ideology" ... that was a lot of syllables in two words for him

9:39 oh geez. what happened to that man's EYE?! Oh, he must have gotten whacked by the zoom lens of the paparazzi next to him. Another Barack/Hillary shot

9:40 Condi shot. omg, she looks SO MEAN. Is that her default face?

9:44 I don't really ahve words for this long discourse on the mess in the Middle East. Its just sobering.

9:45 The new Iraq strategy is being revealed -- it's the SURGE! I just want him to use that word once. Just once. Pleeeeease?

9:46 Peter Pace shot. I kinda want to touch his uniform. It has lots of colors.

9:47 He says this is the best chance for sucess. For the sake of the troops, for our sake, for the sake of the Iraqis, I hope he's right.

9:49 Joe Biden makes his first appearance on NBC cams. Nothing is more important for this country than securing Iraq. Problem is, that's true. But Pelosi didn't stand for those comments. Interesting.

9:50 Whoa -- did he just acknowledge that we were once united and now we're not? He's asking for a chance to prove that the SURGE! is a good idea.

9:51 He wants to increse by 95000 troops. We have more than 1.6 million active military but still. That's not that many but still ...

9:52 A volunteer reserve military? As opposed to a draft, I suppose. Wait...what do we need them for? Oh, I don't know...how about an Iran invasion?

9:54 Now North Korea gets a mention. Boy, that dictator scares me. And Darfur gets a mention? Another Barack/Hillary shot..but Hil kinda got cut off.

9:55 AIDS in Africa. Bono would be proud. $1.2B to combat malaria in Africa. I just noticed that the Justices aren't clapping or standing. Do they get a reprieve? Lucky them. The SOTU is worse than a Catholic mass with all its stand up/sit down action.

9:56 Dikembe Mutombo!?! Sitting next to the First Lady. That is SO RANDOM. Laura is standing next him but you'd never know it. And they put an Asian woman on his other side. Way to make a tall man look even taller.

9:58 Interesting to call out a women entreprenuer, who happens to be a social entreprenuer too. Women are the fuel of this economy, I tell you.

9:59 Prez points out the Subway Hero. "You da man," is what Wesley Autrey just mouthed to POTUS. I think that might have been my favorite part so far.

10:02 The state of our union is strong! That was a pretty strong finish from the Prez, especially since the rest of the speech was a little...somber. Not nearly as exuberant as I remember last year's address being. But POTUS got 62 applause interruptions and chuckles for his one and only SOTU joke about C-SPAN.

Why my mom is better than your mom

I came home last night to find a package that my mother sent me. Inside was the guitar scale book that I bought in Memphis at the Gibson Guitar factory and a fabulous new shoulder bag with a matching laptop sleeve. Oh, and just for good measure, she threw in a few dried oysters and a handful of dried scallops so that I can now cook one of my favorite Chinese dishes that require these key but hard to find ingredients. It kinda left a fishy smell in the laptop sleeve, but how many of you can say your mother sends you dehydrated sea creatures in the mail?

This freakin' rocks. I love being Asian.

At least it was a good sports week for The Lady V

Yesterday, I watched The Chicago Bears earn a spot in the Superbowl Championship Game. And then I boarded a flight from Boston to Washington and waited on the Logan runway for almost two hours. I hate when that happens. We finally landed in the snowy, icy District (more than two hours late) and I quickly moved to catch a cab. Except that D.C. cab drivers are big fat hairy wussies and the line for a taxi was more than 30 minutes. Seeing as I only live a couple Metro stops from the airport, I decided to take the train, then a cab from the train station. Except that when I got to my home train station, there were no cabs. None. Zip. Bupkus. And when I called the Alexandria Yellow Top Cab Company, I was told it would be a two hour wait. So, I trudged myself and all my luggage through the ice and snow down the 15-minute walk to my house. And then the skies opened up and poured forth cold rain down upon my sorry ass, and made me curse increasingly louder through the streets of Virginia. I formally apologize to my neighbors.

But all that time sitting on the runway, in the air, and on the train made me think about the somewhat drama-filled and awkward weekend I just spent in Boston. (Not that it was all bad -- I witnessed the happy union of two dear friends whose relationship I've seen develop from its infancy. It really is a precious moment to see two people who have chosen each other for all their character strengths and weaknesses finally wed! Congratulations, Beavergrads!) And I met up with a few old co-workers from my Big Red days. We caught up, I shared my latest dating drama and my friend says to me, "Well, you know, you have other dating options too. Remember my friend Tim that you met when I was visiting DC?" "Oh, you mean Tim who was engaged when I met him?" "Yeah, well, he broke off the engagement and thinks you're really cute. He has a thing for Asians so we don't really know why he was ever with that girl." Great. I am so doomed for categorical failure in matters of love. I should use my life as the basis of a tragic TV mini series brimming with sappy dialogue narrated by David Allan Boucher, sell it to Lifetime or Oxygen, and live in the lap of luxury until the end of my days. I actually started writing the mini series in my head while I traveled, calling it My Heart as Football. But instead of being about the messy state of affairs in my heart and love life, it ended up using an inappropriate number of stretched metaphors involving fumbles, bad calls, penetrated defense, multiple (in the) sacks, and physicality on the field. Since I'm not nearly that slutty (even though sometimes I wish it, because I secretly aspire to be the next Washingtonienne), I’m going to spare you that literary pain and just hope The Gang of 100 provides better fodder for your reading pleasure. It’s only the first week of classes, so just give ‘em some time. Something is bound to happen…