TWO MORE DAYS TIL PUERTO RICO!

Spring Break is the best invention EVER.

Call me Senator!

My name is Lady V. (hi, lady v)

And I have a habit.

I google myself.

It's a wretched, narcissistic and addictive thing to do, I know. But, hey, everyone does it! (Don't lie to yourself). But for once, I actually had a marginally reasonable explanation for googling myself - I wanted to check if the search engines have been picking up my new website. I'm on a mission to gain more search engine pings than the other women who share my name -- one is an ACLU lawyer and the other seems to be a regular on "Daily Dumpling." (On second thought, maybe I should start concentrating my efforts on becoming a pinup for Daily Dumpling...you gotta give them Asians props for a good gossip/porno/celebrity news site.)

But back to my newfound senator-ness. Unfortunately, Google isn't giving me any cyber love. On the upside, I found myself listed on my school's website. Turns out, I got elected! Who knew? I hadn't knowingly entered any political races since my defeat at the MBA polls. Yet, here I am, the proud new owner of a graduate student seat on the Student Government, thanks to my (three?) unknown fans who wrote my name on the ballot. Thank you, my Adoring Mystery Public! You've entrusted me with the grave responsibility of bickering with undergrads for the next year.

I actually have no idea what it means to be a student representative on this board. No one has officially told me that I was elected ... but, hey, there can't be any real responsibilities attached to this job, right? The title of America's Next Top Slacker Student belonged to me this week -- I skipped two classes and handed in a paper two days late. (Never done that before. I'm chalking it up as a new experience. I'm always up for new experiences).

But, heigh ho! Speaking of googling myself, I'm off to bed ...

(heh. that was so dirty.)

Group hug!

A bit o' world news:

Elections are going on in Northern Ireland. I'm fascinated. Ian Paisley will likely win the top spot and might have to endure Martin McGuinness as deputy minister! That's like ... that's like ... President Bush with Al Gore as vice president. Or Magneto and Professor Xavier. Or peanut butter and pickles. Never the two should meet! Of course, Gore, Prof X and pickles have never been an active member of a terrorist organization ... but I guess everyone gets a second chance.

Speaking of fascinating things, Captain America is dead. Huh. Personally, I didn't know he was still alive. And now the comic book creators have killed him off. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. Think they're making a political statement?

Walk on with hope in your heart

I skipped class today to watch the Liverpool v. Barcelona game. The Reds might have lost the game, but WHATEVER. They're through to the next round!!! I'm totally wearing my Liverpool scarf tomorrow. I might even skip Operations tomorrow, just for the fun of it.

When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high And don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of the Storm there's a golden sky And the sweet, silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain, Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart, And you'll never walk alone. You'll never walk alone.

How can you mend ...

In my never-ending quest to achieve the ultimate procrastination, I've discovered that Wikipedia has an entry on "broken heart."

The article (which is noted as being incomplete and perhaps in need of some scrubbing) offers philosophical views on broken hearts, a list of symptoms, and even describes treatment ("It is claimed that the only cure for a broken heart is time, or acceptance"). You'll be glad to know that it also includes citations from the Bible and Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson's When Elephants Weep: The Emotional Lives of Animals.

I don't know who you are, Mr. Moussaieff Masson, but as soon as I'm done reading Kevin Federline's autobiography, I'll be sure to pick up a copy of your book.

Kill. Me. Now.

I've officially been in Dulles International Airport for 10 and a half hours. During my reluctant sojourn, I've learned the following things:

1. Today, the World was having a stupid day.
2. United Airlines is the stupidest of them all.
3. One free ticket doesn't make up for 11 hours in an airport.
4. Every food vendor in Dulles closes at 9pm except for Wendy's.
5. It takes 5 hours to download an iTunes movie on the Dulles internet connection.
   
6. Spending more than two hours in the Red Carpet Club sucks.
7. Small, screaming children suck.
8. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
9. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
10. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
11. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
12. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
13. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
14. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.
15. Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas.

oh, sorry. I thought I was CNN for a moment there.

Here's what I don't know -- what communications/marketing person at United came up with the "Red Carpet" idea? In theory, it sounds great. But in practice -- a red 2' x 4' floormat in front of the gate is stupid and doesn't make up for the stunning incompetence of the company.

Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas .... Anna Nicole Smith has been buried in the Bahamas ... it's like a mantra. A salve. Somehow, strangely soothing ... You know you've lost it when repetitious thoughts of Anna Nicole Smith calm your nerves.

Never fly out of Dulles Airport. Ever.

My United flight was scheduled to leave at 12:20pm.

And since Dulles is 40 minutes away from my house, it was cheapest to drive my car and leave it here for the weekend. When I finally got through security and rode the stupid white crackerbox on wheels to my gate, they switched gates on us.

So then I had to walk from the D gates to the C gates. And when we arrived, the plane was experiencing mechanical problems and wouldn't leave until 1pm. Then, the mechanical problems got worse and they delayed until 4pm. Plus, they overbooked the flight.

I figured, well, seeing as this day is going, there's a very small chance that the 4pm flight will take off on time. And if I have to be stuck here all day, I might as well get something out of it. I gave up my seat, got a free ticket, got booked on the 9:30pm flight and talked my way into the Red Carpet Club. Which, while it has free food, has a sucky internet connection.

And all this after I had to ride the parking lot shuttle, sitting across from a man in short shorts whose dingle-dongle was peeking out to see the world. No one wants to see that on a parking lot shuttle in the morning. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little, just thinking about it.

The heat is on

It's midterms week. The Gang is starting to have a bit of a meltdown, due to tomorrow's big World Economy exam. Our professor somehow crammed an entire semester's worth of economics material into about 6-7 classes. I just got a phone call from a group of folks still at The Duck at 12:25 am. They put me on speaker phone to explain the affect of foreign exchange transactions on spot currency exchange rates. Meanwhile, they put another Gang member on video conference via computer, and placed the two devices together so we could all hear each other. I'm not sure if they should be commended for their ingenuity and collaborative spirit or ridiculed for their geekiness ...

The pressure is rising and competition for internships is heating up -- a number of Gang members interviewed for the same position and there was a bit of smutty talk going on. Not that anyone would ever admit to it and, really, most of it was still rather polite ... but let's face it. We are all gossipers, we're competitive, and we love to talk about each other, even as much as we like each other.

To make things even more interesting, I think the Gang is on the verge of a revolt against the administration. There was a 30-minute, almost-violent discussion on the state of the school's brand new $52 million building. The bathrooms are always disgusting, the trash cans are rarely emptied on a regular basis, and the stalls run out of toilet paper. Can you imagine a Fortune 500 CEO seeing something like that? Breakout rooms are locked when they're not supposed to be; room scheduling is still a mess; and above all else, I think people feel disrespected. Professors don't bring their best game to class, or we get stuck with professors that no one else wants, we hardly ever see the Dean, and don't feel like the MBA program gets the attention/funding it deserves. The worst part is that the school ignores us now and yet will beg us for money in a few years when we're all earning six figures. (In the real world, a masters of accountancy program doesn't bring in prestige nor money. Sorry, CPAs). The stressed out students started coming up with all kinds of crazy ideas to make our complaints known -- hey, when folks need an outlet, they can get awful creative. I hope that these warning flares get some attention before people get more free time on their hands and cause some real mischief. Academia moves too slowly for MBA students!

Of course, I find outlets in other ways. Watch for these answers to start appearing on my tests:

CNN

The part about Cheney almost sounds as though they're sad he escaped unscathed ... or am I just reading into it?

Why I'm bummed out

We didn't win the case competition.

The cute boy who flirted with me all weekend long during the case competition finally admitted (sheepishly) that he has a girlfriend -- but not until we were at the freakin' Denver airport in the super long security line.

No more Studio 6o on the Sunset Strip. In protest, I refuse to watch its replacement.

After getting very little sleep over the weekend, I had to prepare for today's finance quiz, public policy presentation and information systems midterm.

I've worn off the letters e, d, and c on my one-year-old laptop and my 4 key keeps sticking. Weird.

Gone with the wind

I left my house this morning without my keys. And didn't realize it until I got to school and tried to get into my locker, which I couldn't do since my locker key was at home with the rest of my keys. Yesterday, I left my house without my wallet and didn't realize until I made it halfway to the train station. Last night, I went to study accounting and couldn't find my textbook and had to borrow one from a nearby Gang member at 9:30pm, making me miss the second half of American Idol. I'm gonna go ahead and blame my absentmindedness on this head cold that I'm trying to shake off.

So here I am in Boulder, CO. After the past few days I've had, it's a wonder I made it here in one piece. I better pull it together in the next few hours though -- I'm here because my team made it past the first round of a Net Impact Business Case Competition and we're here to compete in the final round. We gonna kick some butt, as my kindergarteners would say. Not that we let them use such language without a reprimand. Of course, it's usually a reprimand given with a repressed grin -- it's so hard not to laugh when these little six-year-olds tug on your arm, show you a dried up a gluestick and say "Ms. V, this glue is all jacked up!"

Girl Meets Guinness

A play in three acts. A true story. By The Lady V.

ACT I

Girl sidles up to bar in a typical Irish pub. Wooded walls, Guinness signs, sticky floor, etc.

GIRL: Barkeep, could I get a Guinness and a Smithwicks?

BARKEEP: Sure.

Girl waits patiently, notices a small, bearded, un-cute man in a sweater next to her.

BEARD: Hey.

GIRL (a little wary): Hey.

BEARD: What perfume are you wearing?

GIRL: Dude, I'm not wearing any. It must be someone else.

BEARD: No, it's you. You smell like a girl I knew in middle school.

GIRL (slightly freaked, thinking who the hell says that?): Um. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

BEARD: Oh, it's a good thing.

Awkward pause. Girl is relieved to see the bartender with two beers coming her way.

BEARD: Do you use Herbal Essence?

GIRL (now totally freaked out, thinking BEARD has just stuck his nose in her hair): Uh, yeah. But that's not at all okay for you to say that.

Girl throws down money, grabs the beers, leaves the bar.

ACT II

Girl is now near the stage, eagerly waiting for the band, a group of Ukrainian men who play Irish music. (weird, right?) She's with friends.

FRIEND 1 (male): I hear this band is fantastic.

GIRL: Do you think they're single?

FRIEND 1: I have a source. Let me find out.

Friend leaves in search of "source." Band starts to play. All four men are hot. Especially the one on fiddle and the one on guitar. Hot like I want to jump you, tear off your clothes and take you down on stage right now hot. Friend 1 returns.

FRIEND 1: My source says the fiddler is single but that "he's mine."

GIRL: Yeah, well, that's what she thinks. But what about the guitarist?

FRIEND 1: Let me find out. It'll give me another excuse to talk to my source.

Band is rockin' out, Girl starts dancing with her friends. The dancing is more like a let's be silly and fun and do a jig and be The Lady V O'Leary for the night. It is Irish music, after all.

FRIEND 2 (female): I want the fiddler.

GIRL: Okay, I'll take the guitarist.

FRIEND 3 (male) : Are you guys really talking about the guys in the band?

GIRL and FRIEND 2: Hellz, yeah.

Girl notices the semi-cute boy next to her who keeps looking over.

BOY: You're a great dancer.

Boy ceases to be semi-cute. Girl moves on.

ACT III

Girl makes eye contact with the beautiful specimen on guitar. He grins. She grins back. Hot guitarist winks at Girl. Friend 1 chooses this instant to drop his pint of Guinness on Girl's bag.

The end.

Bring it on, Wintry Mix!

It's 1:26am and already schools have announced closings. I noticed three things:

1. My school isn't listed yet. But I still have hope! It's nice to know that the anticipation of a snow day doesn't fade even in graduate school. I'd try sledding too, if class were canceled, except that it's sleeting out there, not snowing.

2. Manassas Park City Schools have put employees on "Code Blue." What the heck does that mean? Initiate the phone chain? Make sure the crayons don't freeze? It's not like a man with a live bomb embedded in his body has rolled into the school on a stretcher...

3. City of Manassas is open with liberal leave. Um. I guess the conservatives have to work in this wintry mix. Sucks to be them.

Then again, maybe we should keep all schools open b/c our children r not gettin smarter & hafta use IM speak more than ever B4, so sez The Washington Post. TTYL.

Why Amazon Rocks

C'mon, that's pretty funny. Amazon even put together a whole shopping list for the V-Day haters out there. (Don't worry, there's a page for you romantics, too). No, I'm not one of those anti-VDay pessimists but I did enjoy the "dark side" writeup:

Welcome to the dark side, where no one has to fret about trying to get a reservation for an oppressively crowded restaurant on February 14. Instead, you can watch some great films (even though they're bad date movies), rejoice that you don't have to worry about avoiding any Valentine's gift pitfalls, and, best of all, shop for yourself. We've been keeping a tally of how many of you loathe Valentine's Day and how many are starry-eyed fools in love, so if you haven't already, please cast your ballot. Then, if you like, you can chat about this silly holiday on the I Hate Valentine's Day forum at the bottom of this page. And think about where you might like to go for a leisurely dinner on February 15.

On a somewhat related note, the more money you have, the better sex you have. According to a study entitled "Money as an Aphrodisiac -- Being Rich Means Getting Lucky on Your Own Terms." Ah but money can't buy class, can it?

Grammy fever

Knock award shows all you want, but I still love the Grammy's. Mary J is up for eight freakin' Grammy's, the object of my lust is going to perform and I love surprise performers!

On a different note altogether, men will be able to buy Viagra over the counter on Valentine's Day. Gotta hand it to the old fogie Brits. More here.

Blah

I've been behind on blogging lately. Mostly 'cuz I've been in such a funk, without any good explanation. School work is the about same, I haven't been sick this winter (thank you, flu shot), I've been so well-behaved financially, I'm getting sleep, got some kissy action recently, and I think I'm eating right.

Which only leaves one explanation -- I need to get out of the country. Yep, that must be it. I haven't left the U.S. borders since Bolivia and that was 10 months ago! My general rule of thumb is to leave the country at least every six months and I've adhered to that heuristic for the past 5 or so years. I must be in withdrawal. Since Habitat for Humanity won't call me back, I've given up on the humanitarian Spring Break mission and am planning to simply soak up the sun in either Puerto Rico or The Dominican Republic. Now that sounds like a perfect way to re-energize ... and meet a Latino lover.

Of course, an alternate hypothesis is that there hasn't been much Gang of 100 gossip in recent days. Everyone has been busy with case competitions, hunting for internships and fulfilling our newly appointed roles as club officers. Boring!

Baby it's cold outside

God hates the Indianapolis Colts too. That's why he made it so frickin cold today. There's a severe weather alert in the DC area. I like the last part. It makes me feel like the National Weather Service cares about me just as much as my mom, even if they don't send me dried oysters.

A WIND CHILL ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 9 AM EST TUESDAY.

VERY COLD TEMPERATURES AND LOW WIND CHILL VALUES WILL CONTINUE TO AFFECT THE REGION THROUGH TUESDAY MORNING. WIND CHILLS BETWEEN 10 AND 15 BELOW ZERO WILL BE COMMON BY TUESDAY MORNING.

A WIND CHILL ADVISORY MEANS THAT VERY COLD AIR AND STRONG WINDS WILL COMBINE TO GENERATE LOW WIND CHILLS. THIS WILL RESULT IN FROST BITE AND LEAD TO HYPOTHERMIA IF PRECAUTIONS ARE NOT TAKEN. WHEN OUTDOORS...DRESS IN LAYERS...AND WEAR A HAT AND GLOVES.

BEAR DOWN!

Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory;

Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.
We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation.
Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you're wearing the crown.
You're the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down.

For more Bear-ilicious delights, check out why Chicagoans are the best fans in the world.

Less than 24 hours to go!!!